It was a little over ten years ago, right around the 4th of July in 2003, that I quit drinking alcohol. That was the beginning of a new. more spiritual, direction in my life. Prior to that, my practice of Nichiren Buddhism mostly consisted of chanting for material benefits and immediate pleasures. To make a long story short, my life had hit rock bottom. Chronic disabling health problems had already forced me into premature retirement. I’d already had a rather dramatic near death experience in 1993. Then I had another one that weekend in 2003. After I quit drinking, all of my efforts shifted toward making myself a better person. That was all I chanted for. I did not know what to expect. Suffice to say that my understanding of not only Buddhism, but just about everything, was about to be fundamentally transformed.

I can not say that everything has been perfect. To begin with, the first Noble Truth remains true. Conditioned existence is still dukkha. Life kind of sucks. It’s the same with most things- about the time you figure things out, and get good at it, it is almost over. Moreover, I have made some mistakes, including some fairly bad financial decisions. However, I can say things are far better than they would have been, had I continued on my previous course. Most likely, I would have drank myself to death.

Also, I have made some fairly good decisions along the way. Overall. considering the lousy circumstances I had created for myself, as of July of 2003, I think I have done rather well, such as how I sorted out my chanting & meditation practice. I have emphasized right effort — countering hostility by cultivating and maintaining authentic kindness, compassion, and tolerance. Also mindfulness meditation to develop and maintain presence of mind, powers of observation, and visuospatial skills. Finally, fixed concentration meditation to cultivate and maintain the intellect, powers of concentration, and cerebral cognitive sills as much as possible.

More recently, things have become a struggle. They are not a dire mess like a decade ago. It’s just that I ran into a figurative wall. Things became stagnant. My mental faculties started to erode. Things have changed so much out in the world. I was feeling kind of lost. Meanwhile., finances became tighter; making ends meet on my fixed income became more difficult. I have been mulling over various ways of trimming expenses and / or increasing revenues. Every time I ran a budget cut past my wife, she brought up my main weakness — tobacco. So — drum roll - on the evening of June 18 2013. I smoked what I determined would be my last cigarette.

It’s not going to save much money. Some time ago, I avoided the high tax on cigarettes by going RYO. Then, when the feds hiked the tax on Class J tobacco, I beat that by going with class L tobacco. My habit was actually costing less than a dollar a day. Still, a dollar is a dollar. Moreover, the tax loop hole I found is not going to escape detection forever. Meanwhile, public attitudes have made smoking a major hassle — which has made it easier to quit. Besides, it stinks, stains my fingers, makes an ashy mess, and so on. Quitting just made sense.

Since I quit something, I am planning to start something new. I am not sure what though. For now, it is going for walks.