Many people do not learn much about emotions as a child – how they work, what they are and how to manage them.
This means that many people have very normal academic and social intelligence levels, but low emotional intelligence.
Low emotional intelligence is a sign that you are not able to communicate well with others.
It doesn’t matter if you are looking to do business, get married, or hire a coach. You must be able recognize the signs of low emotional intelligence right from the start.
You can find out the level of emotional intelligence someone has by looking at how they express their emotions.
People with low emotional intelligence may refuse to share their feelings. The most common thing about people with low emotional intelligence is that they don’t want to talk about their feelings, but they don’t know how. They use metaphorical or vague language to describe their feelings, such as “I’m a bit stressed” or “I feel angry.” They may intellectualize their emotions and use abstract or conceptual language to describe how they feel.
People who have high emotional intelligence don’t hesitate to express their emotions in simple language.
They may say: “I feel sad”, “I am angry”, “I feel disappointed and a bit upset at the moment”.
It is easy to believe that many emotions, such as sadness or fear, are negative or bad. People who express their emotions as children often find themselves in this position.
Low emotional intelligence can be characterized by people who criticize themselves for having difficult emotions. They believe that fear is bad. They believe that being sad is embarrassing. They believe anger is an indicator of weakness.
Judgement based on how you feel is a bad way to judge yourself.
High emotional intelligence people understand that even though something may feel bad, it does not necessarily mean that it is bad. They are kind and compassionate when they feel down.
People with low emotional intelligence believe that difficult emotions can be overcome. They will immediately seek to eliminate any painful emotions or moods. Your brain will learn to view your emotions as problems if you treat them constantly. This will make you more afraid of your emotions and more reactive to them in the future.
Emotionally intelligent people see emotions as messengers and not threats. Regardless of whether you agree with the message, it is not a good idea to shoot the messenger. It is better to accept and let go of painful emotions than to try to control them.
It is quite common to feel more than one emotion simultaneously, but people with low emotional intelligence often only notice the strongest and largest emotion.
High emotional intelligence is a person who can see beyond their primary emotions and has enough self-awareness.
Low emotional intelligence can also be reflected in believing all your emotions. Emotions can often provide useful information such as feeling afraid when a fire alarm sounds. We are also more likely to be cheated: when our partner points out a problem and asks us for help, we can feel angry.
People who are emotionally intelligent listen to their emotions, but don’t blindly trust them.
Our emotions are not magical. It can be equally dangerous to overvalue or undervalue emotions.
The way someone handles painful emotions and the moods of others can tell a lot about an individual’s emotional intelligence.
People with low emotional intelligence fear the pain of others and so try to make it go away. They may give you reasons not to feel this way or try to fix your bad mood. These are signs that your emotional intelligence may be low.
However, it is a sign that someone is able to validate your emotions and offer support without giving advice or judgment.
People who insist on being happy all the while never admitting that they are sad, scared, embarrassed or upset are not to trust. Low emotional intelligence is when you insist on being happy all of the time.
People with low emotional intelligence don’t know how to understand their emotions and moods. They live in denial about the unpleasant and painful emotions. They hope that if their thoughts are positive, they will feel happy all the times and never have to feel bad.
People who are emotionally intelligent know that there is no right or wrong emotion. They can feel bad, and they are okay with that.