Real Life with Ryuei

Some Ramblings About Right Speech

Hi everyone,

So a few people (well, actually just one person) have criticized my rather in your face style of writing in my previous blog entry. The concern was that a Buddhist minister should maintain a certain level of decorum in order not to ruin his/her reputation and also to maintain a certain standard of conduct. There is something to that and so I want to address it and some other issues. But first, what is "right speech" according to Buddhism? This is actually very explicitly stated in the sutras. Negatively, right speech avoids falsehood, abusive speech, divisive speech, slander, gossip, and idle talk. Positively, it is truthful, helpful, conducive to good relations between people, and to the point. In one discourse the Buddha states that he does not say things that are untrue and does not even say things that are true but not helpful, and does not say things simply because they are pleasant or refrain from saying things simply because they are unpleasant. Rather, the Buddha says what is true and helpful at the right term, whether it is pleasant or unpleasant for others to hear.

In the T'ien-t'ai and Nichiren traditions of Buddhism there are two terms that are used to indicate certain teaching strategies. The first term is "shoju" which means "to accept and invite." Shoju is the teaching strategy used with friendly inquirers and with students who are eager and sincere and are not stuck in a limited view. "Shoju" is a way of speaking pleasantly and meeting people where they are. The second style is "shakubuku" and it means "to break and subdue." One does not "break and subdue" the other person, but rather one breaks and subdues false views and other fixations. This style is used when others are following a destructive path and need to be warned. It is also used with students in a relationship of mutual trust and respect. The teacher uses shocking words and techniques like harsh words, or shouts, or even some physical gesture, perhaps even blows (in Tibet and East Asia this happens in many stories) in order to jolt the student out of their complacence and/or to push them into a moment of clarity. To use shakubuku the teacher must be motivated by compassion and not anger, derision or frustration, and they must really be sure that their words and/or actions will actually help and not just anger or discourage the other person. Basically it is a form of shock therapy, and so the one using it must be a very good therapist or else shakubuku will backfire and/or be nothing more than a display of ego.

So for instance, in the Western tradition the Old Testament prophets were using the shakubuku technique to warn their societies of the impending destruction that their misconduct as a society was bringing down on them. When Jesus castigated the hypocritical religious leaders of his day as snakes and children of the devil, that was also shakubuku.

In the Zen tradition there is a story of a samurai who asked a Zen Master where the gateway to heaven and hell was. The Zen Master said, "Even if I told you, an idiot like you could never understand." The samurai was infuriated at this insult and drew his sword. The Zen Master said, "There is the gate to hell." The samurai then understood that the Zen Master's insult was a way of teaching and so he sheathed his sword and apologized. The Zen Master said, "There is the gate to heaven." That is shakubuku.

The Buddha also used such techniques and of course is considered the originator of them in terms of the Buddhist tradition. Very early on the Buddha visited a worshipper of the god Agni named Kashyapa. Kashyapa was very full of himself, and yet he was very impressed by the Buddha's supernatural powers and ability to know the minds of others, including himself. And yet Kashyapa continued to believe that he himself was a perfected saint who had nothing to learn from the Buddha. After weeks of living with Kashyapa and observing his arrogance, the Buddha finally directly said, "Kashyapa, you are not a saint, and there is nothing that you are doing that will lead you to sainthood." By that time, Kashyapa had a great respect for the Buddha, and these blunt words jolted him out of his complacency.

So there is a time for blunt speech, even shocking speech. And there is certainly a time for down to earth speech, speech straight from the heart. This is one of the reasons I am a big fan of Brad Warner, the Zen Master who has written the book Hardcore Zen and also the author of the following blog:

http://hardcorezen.blogspot.com/

and website:

http://homepage.mac.com/doubtboy/

I really like Brad's straight talking, though sometimes over the top, way of expressing himself. I read him and I think - this guy's for real, he's not hiding himself or pretending to be any better than he is. He is not putting on airs or some kind of preconceived persona of the reserved spiritual master. He certainly isn't putting on the air of the pollyanna minister, around whom everyone must mind their Ps and Qs and refrain from telling any bawdy jokes. The fact is that I don't trust people who are like that, or else I tend to find them annoying. But someone like Brad inspires me with confidence - that here is someone who is for real, and Buddhism is about being for real. I should also mention Hakuin, the revered 18th century reformer of Rinzai Zen, whose sarcastic and blunt diatribes I also find very entertaining but also insightful. If anything, Hakuin is much harsher than Brad.

There is "but" here. Buddhism is not just about being real. The first noble truth is about facing the real world without illusions, but the first noble truth is not about just seeing ugliness and accepting it and perhaps mirroring that ugliness by way of acknowledgement and authenticity. That is not it. The first noble truth is not that everything is totally awful, but that there is nothing that will ever be ultimately satisfactory. The second, third, and fourth noble truths are about how to deal in a postive and wholesome way with the unsatisfactory nature of all conditioned things and to find the unconditioned bliss that is available when one follows the eightfold path of wholesome/holistic livinig (as in living with the whole picture instead of a partial view). So from a Buddhist perspective being really real is not about just taking on some blue collar hard nosed unsentimental and unrefined attitude to life (and I am not saying that Brad is doing that just to be clear). Plain speaking and plain living does not have to mean coarseness. But it does mean being grounded in reality, speaking the truth, and not trying to prettify things in order to avoid or disguise reality. Sometimes the kindest word is not a gentle word, but to sound a wake up call. But in sounding a wake up call, we don't need to be derisive or abusive.

Unfortunately, the level of discourse in the USA has become very coarse. Even for people like myself and Brad, using epithets like "f' you" that decades ago would have been taken as an unforgiveable insult, is now little more than a smart alecky remark. It certainly doesn't have the impact it once did. As a matter of fact, I must note that almost every CD I buy now has the "Explicit Lyrics" lable on it. I burned a CD of some songs the other day to listen to as I drove to LA and I noticed that every single song had at least one of what George Carlin called the "seven words you can't say on the radio" (which was a skit he actually performed on the radio and it led to a Supreme Court case back in the 70s). Now on the one hand, I appreciate the use of such blunt language when it is not gratuitous and it fits the circumstances. It isn't always used to make people feel bad (which would be abusive speech) but rather to express strong feelings and/or a level of blunt and plain language. But there can be way too much of this of course. It is a cheap shortcut in lieu of other ways of making a strong point, and plainness of language shouldn't necessarily have to require vulgarity. Watching the Osborns, for instance, is funny; but afterawhile one wonders why they can't say even a single sentence without an explicative. At home I watched the first season of the Osborns with the censoring on, and sometimes whole sentences would be bleeped out. Now on the one hand that strikes me as very funny, but on the other hand it is kind of sad when any attempt to articulate anything just becomes a solid stream of vulgarity. Anyway, my point to all this is that while I appreciate plain talk and the occasional explicative for emphasis, I am aware of the coarsening of language and culture and how it really does go too far sometimes.

What is worse though, is the meanspiritedness of public discourse these days. Ann Coulter is the most egregious example of this, but far from the only one. It seems as though if you do not have any extreme views and no derisive or even hurtful remarks to make about your opponents then you are too namby pamby to get any notice. Everyone is trying to be so edgy all the time that I think we are pushing each other off the edge. And I plead guilty to this too.

Many internet forums are noted for their mean spirited discourse, or rather it used to be that way. My own personal experience has been that in the mid-90s when I first got online, one had to have a very thick skin, and if one wanted to be a successful poster you had to have a razor wit and be ever ready to cut down one's rivals. But over time I learned that it is much more effective to keep one's cool, rise above the crassness, and basically conform to right speech as the Buddha taught it - only write what is true and helpful and to the point, and find the right time and place to say it, esp. if it may be unpleasant to hear or read. Many others discovered this as well, and more and more people gravitated towards moderated forums, where those who wished to indulge in insult, vulgarity, and meanness could be moderated and eventually shown the virtual door.

My conclusions so far, which I occasionally need to remind myself of, about right speech online or offline is this (in no particular order):

1. Say what is true and avoid falsehood and misrepresentation.

2. Speak what is helpful, because not everything that is true needs to be said.

3. Find the proper context. Sometimes praising someone is not helpful to them and may strike others as favoritism or currying favor. Often criticism, esp. when made public, will only cause bad feelings and polarize people. Remember to criticize views or actions and try not to attack the people themselves. If it can be done privately do so, if the record needs to be set straight publicly then be tactful when correcting someone.

4. Whether speaking pleasant or unpleasant things, try to make sure compassion and not derision or condescension is the motive. Best to be silent if one's motive anger, frustration, exasperation or otherwise putting down others and/or showing off one's own supposed superiority.

5. Know your audience.

6. Good Listening and/or reading is essential to good communication (actually this should be #1)

7. Use explicatives sparingly if at all. Sometimes they can be funny and/or drive home a point, but it can also be abusive and/or offensive to others. This is easier to do if you are not one of the Osborns and/or if you are not a singer. I also think a dispensation should be given to stand-up comedians and blunt Buddhist ministers, as long as it is not overdone.

8. Say what you mean and mean what you say. This is similar to 1, but with a little more interiority involved.

9. If you say you are going to do something follow through. Don't make big claims that you can't back up. I think this is what the Buddha meant when he said avoid idle talk.

10. Don't talk about others when they are not present (and that includes when they are not members of the internet forum you are posting in).

11. Don't just ramble on for the sake of rambling on. Oops!

So those are some of my reflections on right speech. I'm sure I have not said all there is to say about it, and perhaps I might have said to much. But that is what I have to say, and if you don't like it then F..... Oops!

Namu Myoho Renge Kyo,
Ryuei

Posted by Ryuei at August 8, 2006 12:22 PM