I recently found out that one of my minions quit.
You know who you are. I will hunt you down, there is no place for you to hide.
You see, minions can’t quit. Minions sign a Ninja blood oath to their Ninja master (that’s me) that lasts as long as I wish it to last. Minions can’t just quit.
My other minions have been dispatched to, well, dispatch the traitor minion. That’s what he is, a traitor.
All martial arts masters have minions of some sort, Ninja Masters, even more so. Our Minions are our students and our assistants. Without Minions we cannot truly be said to be Ninja Masters.
Once a student receives their black belt, they can elect to become a Minion, but only after they take the ancient Ninja blood oath of loyalty, and pay their tuition for three years in advance. In exchange they become the personal students of the Ninja Master and can begin to learn the master’s inner martial arts secrets. Of course no Ninja Master would actually teach a Minion everything he knows because then the Minion would be tempted to try and escape, or worse. A skilled Ninja Master will s t r e t c h out the training, for the benefit of the Minion of course.
This is the basic business plan of the Ninja.
Step #1 - Become a high-ranking Ninja
Step #2 - Become a teacher, get Minions.
Step #3 - Retain Minions through the use of a blood oath, ensure loyalty through fear and the promise of special training, have Minions pay lots of money, retire as a Ninja Master. Enjoy the fruits of the fear, respect and stardom that naturally comes from being a Ninja Master with many personal Minions.
Minions who leave without permission are the worse sort of traitors. They are evil. They are bad. Anything that makes the Ninja Master look bad is itself bad.
I have heard it said that this plan is in fact a very poor business model. Critics offer that business in modern times should be based on customer satisfaction and that dissatisfied customers are naturally free to seek out a better service provider. Customer loyalty is based purely on the quality of the service provided, nothing more. These same critics often point out that the martial arts industry is no different than other similar businesses and should be run in the same manner.
What do they know? They aren’t Ninjas. The Ninja Master/Minion relationship is an ancient and sacred bond, based on centuries of secret history and mystical magical aspects never revealed outside of the Master/Minion relationship.
Anyone criticizing the Ninja Master or his Minions is bad.
Enough talk, time to hunt down the traitor Minion.
Rev. Greg, Ninja Master
Posted by revgreg at November 2, 2005 02:09 AMClowhidden - true, and false
Charles - "Kyojitsu"
Rev. Ryuei - as usual you are a true master. Rest assured that those to whom this is written will not read it, and wouldn't accept that it was meant for them even if they did.
Thanks for reading. I'll work this out of my system soon and get back on some track or another. Soon I will be in Japan again training and it is there that my fate awaits me.
Rev. Greg
Posted by: Rev. Greg at November 8, 2005 05:45 AMI take it this is sarcastic, but then I thought, "isn't that just how Nija would operate?" So I'll put my ignorance on display. True or false?
clown hidden
Posted by: clownhidden at November 8, 2005 12:49 AMRev. Greg:
As a Ninjitsu sensei, is there an ethical problem with causing harm (killing/injuring/psychologically dominating) and your practice of Buddhism? How does one reconcile "do no harm" and (perhaps) deadly force?
I am not educated into the ways of the ninja, and what I do know is mostly that made for TV nonsense which must be about as accurate as "Bewitched" is to real witchcraft. I for one would be very interested to know if your art of ninjitsu is a discipline for the sake of maintaining the tradition or if you have call to use it in a practical, perhaps, for hire context.
Please forgive my ignorance on the subject. I recently saw a documentary on ninjitsu on cable and I was astonished at the speed, skill, and power of chi that those masters exhibited. Surely, those people were no people to be crossed. Have mercy on that Minion, Rev. Greg...have mercy.
Charles
Posted by: Charles at November 4, 2005 10:01 PMLOL. Excellent. I hope all those who need to get the point.
You said: "All martial arts masters have minions of some sort, Ninja Masters, even more so. Our Minions are our students and our assistants. Without Minions we cannot truly be said to be Ninja Masters."
That reminds me of the definition of "Roshi" (a title for a Zen Master) I once heard: "A roshi is anyone who calls themselves that and can convince other people to do so as well."
Namu Myoho Renge Kyo,
Ryuei
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Posted by: Ryuei at November 4, 2005 07:20 PM