I found out this evening that a student of mine, David Riebandt, passed away.The causes are unknown to me. He was found in his bed by his roommate, according to very limited information I have received.
I was asked to say some words tonight prior to training in the Monterey dojo, and I asked everyone to end in sansho, (Nam Myoho Renge Kyo chanted three times). Of course that’s alot to ask from those students who may have not have heard Nam Myoho Renge Kyo before.
I did my best, not much to do on short notice….
I quoted Nichiren from A Conversation between a Sage and A Common Man; “Life passes as quickly as a white colt viewed through a hole in a fence….”
Towards the end of training I suffered crippling indigestion, I mean like my stomach was coming out through my throat. I became frightened – seriously. Weird thoughts like “crap, am I going to die?” began to pop up in my mind. I walked to the Longs Drugs and bought some Tums. They didn’t help much.
Once I was on the Freeway driving home I cried. I cried for a long time, all of the way home. By the time I arrived my stomach felt ok again. I fucking hate it when people I know and care for die. This is the part of being human I really hate.
I doesn’t make sense to talk about David to people who don’t know him, but he was a really thoughtful guy. He was a Tibetan Buddhist and I was going to invite him over to my home to discuss Buddhism but hadn’t found the right time to do so. Figures…
I’m really going to miss David Riebandt. I regret not being able to be his friend longer.
All I can say about David Riebandt is that if he had been in the car with me when I was crying, he would have told me not to worry, that it was ok. He probably would have apologized for dying. It’s ok David. We have to go when we have to go (note to self).
On behalf of David Riebandt - From A Conversation between a Sage and a Unenlightened Man;
Having received life, one cannot escape death. Yet though everyone from the Emperor down to the lowliest commoner recognizes this as a fact, not one person in a thousand or ten thousand truly takes the matter seriously or grieves over it. Suddenly confronted with evidence of the impermanence of life we may be terrified by the prospect of the unknown and lament that the world we are familiar with should pass so quickly. Yet we assume that those who have preceded us in death are wretched and that we who remain alive are superior. Busy with that task yesterday and this affair today, we are helplessly bound by the five desires of our worldly nature. Unaware that time passes as quickly as a white colt glimpsed through a crack in the wall, ignorant as sheep being lead to the slaughter, held hopeless prisoners by our concern for food and clothing, we fall heedlessly into the snares of fame and profit and in the end make our way back to that familiar village in the three evil paths, only to set out on the road again, reborn time after time in the six paths of existence. What person of feeling could fail to grieve at such a state of affairs, or fail to be moved to sorry!
Posted by revgreg at March 19, 2005 07:39 AMHi Greg,
Sorry to hear about the passing of your friend. My sister-in-law passed away quite unexpectedly last summer and it was very shocking and tragic. I think what you wrote was very touching and eloquent. I would like to think that those who have died in some way are able to feel the love, caring, and friendship that we still feel for them.
Namu Myoho Renge Kyo,
Ryuei
Greg,
So sorry about your friend. You did a great heart-felt blog for him. It's tough when there were things you were planning to do with him. Don't forget you have other friends that care very much.
Danna
Posted by: Danna at March 21, 2005 02:59 AMPerhaps one day, after I've done everything I can in this life that I need to do or have to do, and I'll be able to say "I'm out of here! On to the great mystery."
I'm not envious of those friends of mine who have gone, I have bills to pay today and more people to meet and love. Greg, long may you linger and bring value & joy to everyone you know and have yet to meet. And when you're gone, I might be one those you know who'll mourn & bitch about you being gone ;-D. Condolences to your friend's family!
best,
Dan
Posted by: Dan Defensor at March 21, 2005 12:48 AM"I know Buddhists don't believe in reincarnation, but I like to."
I think we do, just not transmigration of a soul. The Buddha explicitly accepted rebirth.
Buddhist scholars have gone to great pains to explain how rebirth can occur without a self --a bhavanga-citta, an alaya-vijnana.
Some modern revisionist Buddhists try to rationalize that the Buddha was speaking figuratively. But I see no basis for that, except their own squeamishness.
metta,
robin
"How swiftly the days pass! It makes us realize how short are the years we have left. Friends enjoy the cherry blossoms together on spring mornings and then they are gone, carried away like the blossoms by the winds of impermanence, leaving nothing but their names. Although the blossoms have scattered, the cherry trees will
bloom again with the coming of spring, but when will those people be reborn?
The companions with whom we composed poems praising the moon on autumn evenings have vanished with the moon behind the shifting
clouds. Only their mute images remain in our hearts. The moon has set behind the western mountains, yet we shall compose poetry under it
again next autumn. But where are our companions who have passed away?"
From "Letter to Niike"
attributed to Nichiren
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Thank you for sharing that, Greg. I hate the dying part of life, too. It's what brought me to the practice of Buddhism in the first place. It's what keep me here in the longrun. Death is just too much to fathom without some spirituality. And even WITH it. David was lucky to have a friend like you. And visa versa I'm sure. I know Buddhists don't believe in reincarnation, but I like to. And maybe as I wrote in my recent blog, death is just a "space filler" and we'll all back soon.
Hang in there.