Robin Beck

Vaughn's Interview with controversial Sushi Aficionado Barry Schmuck

This is satire, something I seldom indulge in these days. If there are any hurt feelings; I shall take it down.

Seriously, maybe satire is just a bad idea? I have mixed thoughts on that right now. At what point does it just become mean? It seems to me there is a time and a place. The healthy purpose is to not take ourselves too seriously. I think.
Thoughts?

This was Vaughn's Interview with Schmuck, which Vaughn had planned to post at Blog-'o'-snot. However, the R-factor, a being Rube channels; while in a trance state learned from Carlos Castanet, intercepted it.

V: Barry is a long time Sushi aficionado, who has some controversial views.

Barry: It stinks in here.

V: I know. Someone stepped in dog doo and tracked it in.

Barry; It was not me. Did you interview Mitch McGraw? I bet it was him. He puts cheese whiz in his sushi. Never trust a sushi chef. Sushi is not about culinary sects. All people have a sushi nature,

V: No, Chef McGraw has not been here. Do not worry. We will clean it up. What say you about Sushi?

Barry: Most people do not know sushi like I know sushi. Most people confuse sashimi with real sushi. Real sushi has nothing to do with sashimi. And certainly not Cheese Whiz. Cripes! .

V: I understand that two well known sushi aficionados, Rube and Guido, disagree with you. Rube says that all sushi is not sashimi, all of the time, and not all sashimi is sushi, but some sashimi is sushi, some of the time. He can explain that 80,000 different and convoluted ways. Guido says it is obvious to anyone who has seen sashimi spread with wasabe on a rice ball .

Barry: A redneck and an Italian? You call them sushi aficionados? If they only knew sushi like I know sushi, I was the first to bring authentic sashimi free sushi to America.

V Yes, we heard you went to Japan to seek the real sushi. Can you tell us about that?
.
Barry: While I was there, I designed the ginzu knife. I gave one to a famous sushi chef. I can not say who. I do know the Iron Chef. I have met almost every famous person on the planet. A chef from a rival culinary sect tried to kill me with a fake ginzu knife. I ducked, but got a cut on my forehead. I got stitches. I am the first person to ever get stitches.

V: Really? We also heard that you almost died of food poisoning.

Barry: Right. From eating sashimi; raw fish. I then realized sashimi is not the real sushi, They had to do CPR. I am the first person to ever receive CPR. I also helped design the California Roll. I wanted a real American sushi. I sent the recipe to Marv Heron. He put it on the Internet. It was not ready. That is not the real California Roll.

V: Any other thoughts on sushi?

Barry: Most people mistake the seaweed around the maki roll for the sushi. The real sushi is the vinegar seasoned rice.

V: Any thoughts on other topics?

Barry: I am an incredible person. I have done so much. Most people suck. I have met lots of famous people. I am a big fan of Tiny Tim. Also, Superman is a real person. I can prove it. Look on a map of Illinois. You will see Metropolis. It is there.

V:

Posted by rbeck at August 4, 2008 01:03 AM