Where did the time go? In a few months I will be attending my forty year high school class reunion. Technology is so great. The organizers of this reunion are using a webpage that allows for photos and profiles so we can see how we’ve all changed. It’s amazing stuff. I quickly realized that those youthful friends and acquaintances have changed so much, I wouldn’t recognize any of them if I passed them on the street – but it seemed like just yesterday that we were we were so close and everything was so dramatic. Its been fascinating to see where they’ve gone and what they’ve done.
Although you all know my history, I thought it might be fun to share my profile because it is so different than any of my classmates. I went to a Chicago suburban high school with a graduating class of 303 students. Looking at their profiles, some became lawyers, doctors, and teachers, with the usual life track of marriage, divorce, kids, and expensive toys. A few have been born again, so more power to them. More than a dozen have gone to that great reunion in the sky. Since posting my profile, dozens of classmates have written me to catch up.
One of my very best friends from back in the day chided me for posting a detailed profile. His argument was that our classmates had forgotten their Age of Aquarius roots and now lived in little house made of tickey-tackey that all loooked the same. He scolded me pretty good. He asserted that they wouldn't understand the exstensive use of psychedelics for self-discovery, and they especially wouldn't be able to grasp the long, slow Buddhist journey to enlightenment. He actually talked me into taking it down, but then I remembered Robin Beck's recollections of me as a Chershire Cat kind of personality, so I put it back up, then took it down, and have repeated this process a number of times.
Where I disagree with my childhood (non-Buddhist) friend, who has been with me every step of the way on my long, strange trip, was that he didn't give our classmates enough credit. Maybe there was a time along the way that I would have tried to identify with all of them and speak in terms of expedients and mutual areas where we were actually very much alike. This was the provisonal approach Buddha used to raise up his disciples so they could understand the path of awakening. It occurred to me that what was required was a Honmon approach that refrained from seeking things in common and just retraced the mile markers and result.
I thought it might be fun to share this "warts and all" profile with a promise of more serious writing in the very near future.
Spouse/Partner: Jennifer DuBois: Wiccan master, beautiful, much smarter then me, and twenty-three years younger.
Children: Devin, born September 8, 1979. Devin is a blues singer. She is attractive, an expert in WWII history, and has been a practicing Buddhist her entire life.
Step son Thomas, 14, going on 21, born April 28, 1995. He has a black belt in Kung Fu, has a master scuba diving certification, he's a drummer in the jazz band, and he's a straight A student. At nearly 6' and brutally handsome, we have had to have that serious "talk" with him, as the girls are swarming.
Profile: For several years after graduation and the Army, it might have appeared that I was lost. The short explanation was that I was searching for something, but didn't know what. You remember what a chaotic time it was - go to college, get a trade, the draft was like a riptide waiting to pull us boy's under, and we all remember that unpopular war that took so many of our generation. We were all living on the cusp of a cultural paradigm shift.
Please forgive the length of this profile. In 1969 we were an idealistic generation out to change the world. I chose a different path that put me at odds with my family, with convention, and the status quo. My path, because it went against the grain of society was the self-imposed cause for great suffering for myself and especially my loved ones who thought I had gone mad. For this reason alone, I owe it to you to share a snapshot of this strange journey.
I was doing a lot of psychedelics and my personality went from the halcyon daze of "Leave it to Beaver" to the lunatic in the "Dark Side of the Moon." I was utterly lost, but as it is said; "When the student is ready, the teacher appears." In the early 70s, some old friends created what could best be described as a multi-million dollar international pot smuggling organization. I had a choice of whether to be an intentionally poor seeker of the Way, or I could live the exciting but dangerous life of an affluent smuggler, forever looking over my shoulder, while seeing the disapproval of my father in every stranger's face.
At times, I had been foolish, but I was no fool. I knew that some of my so-called friends and acquaintances secretly referred to me as "Crazy Charlie" because of too many acid trips. In reality, I probably wasn't welcome with my smuggler friends anyway, as I was too outspoken, strange, and unpredictable. Regardless, some beneficent archetype, in what C.G. Jung called the collective unconscious, must have been watching over me, and steered me in another, more positive direction.
My true path to self-discovery soon appeared, leading me to what the Lotus Sutra calls “The Phantom City” - that midway respite on the way to awakening. I remained there, in the phantom city for decades, learning the finer points of meditation, the Four Noble Truths, the Eight-Fold Path, and most of all, how best to help the sick, the suffering, and the forgotten. I became somewhat skilled at eight-limbed yoga, dhyana and samadhi meditation, understanding and reciting the sutras, and the ceremonial/practical magick found in the Heremetic Order of the Golden Dawn. It must be stessed that none of these skill-sets will buy you a cup of coffee, unless you're some kind of metaphysical hooker and exploit them for money. I may have been a cheap date, but I was no whore. The true worth of these varied disciplines are found in awakening to the true nature (or entity) of life, and navigating the bardos after death, replete with those rascally peaceful and wrathful deities so aptly described in the "Tibetan Book of the Dead." That must be worth a cup of coffee or a spot of tea - don't you think? My evangelical Lutheran grandparents were positively mortified.
I was a late bloomer. In a symbolic gesture, at age 23, I cut my hair and began an inward journey that put me as a student in training before a series of world renown Buddhist masters that had all the tact, charm, and mercy of coach Buck Sayre with a hangover. Let's just say, you can't run away from your karma, and I attracted teachers whose compassion was measured by how many dreams they shattered, and how many grown men they made cry. Let's just say that my appreciation for those "Full Metal Jacket" kind of instructors is boundless, tempered by the acquired knowledge that holy men, by and large, are Assholes - up close and personal. Their preconceived holiness was a mirage, like the allure and beauty of a first time lover after a night of heavy drinking.
For what it's worth, I bested them all in attainment, by their own criteria, on their own court. Maybe that was their purpose all along, but it's doubtful. It's more likely that these Vedic, Buddhist and occult masters thrived and got off on their own arrogance, attaining supreme Sphincterhood without a single regret. Few moments are more savored than when student surpasses teacher. Let's just say, for a moment there, I was sporting cosmic wood, and in a detached way, it felt good. Now, however, I have become a teacher, vowing to never use humiliation, cruelty, or passive aggressive intimidation to teach others.
I broke the cycle of cruel teaching when I established a new Buddhist sangha (order). In July, 2008, after 35 years in the trenches, I took the spiritual name, Gakkoren. "Gakko" is the Japanese name for one of two healing/protective bodhisattvas that accompany Yakushi, the Medicine Buddha; and "Ren" means lotus - the mystic flower that symbolizes karmic cause and effect. My spiritual name means "Moonlight Lotus," although, as some of you may remember, there's not much gentle about me. Perhaps the most apt description of me was given by one of my students when they said, "You're more like Aleister Crowley than Mahatma Gandhi." I never sought to be a guru, just a decent human being.
The end-result of these tedious, esoteric, and exoteric spiritual disciplines transformed my mundane existence into one of altruism with a life-long effort for enlightenment. The mind blowing truth that I learned was that enlightenment was there all along, just waiting for me to stop doing those expedient things that my teachers taught me to do, to bring forth enlightenment. All I needed to do was to stop doing, and be. Once one eliminates that fervent desire to attain enlightenment at all costs - that attachment to attain, enlightenment emerges as naturally as the rising sun, or in my case, the full moon. Enlightenment is all about being in the moment. It is not a state above anyone, it is recognizing, realizing, and respecting the enlightenment in others (and all life).
There occurred two great awakenings around 1987, I fell or was shoved down the rabbit hole with Alice, emerging later as a better person - one that was less self-involved and far more compassionate. This was brought about by a life and death battle with stage-four Hodgkin's lymphoma, a samadhi (or grand awakening), and a near-death experience. Obviously, I survived advanced cancer, and am now a better person for it. In case anyone's interested, here's my post transformation resume:
Wrote and published two popular books on spiritual healing and visualization: they are Modern Buddhist Healing, Nicolas-Hays (Boston), 2002 & Riding the Wheel to Wellness, Nicolas-Hays, 2005.
Created a spiritual healing website at www.spiritwell.net for those suffering from cancer and other chronic Illnesses; Currently author of a Blog called Phantom City at www.fraughtwithperil.com.
Founded The Society for Modern Buddhist Healing July 2008. This group, with an international following, teaches chronically ill people how to use mantra-powered visualization to attack diseases like cancer or other chronic illnesses while boosting the immune system through primordial sounds and meditation. It also provides end-of-life support.
Founded the The Order of Jakkodo (Land of eternally tranquil light) in July 2008. This order is a ten-level higher consciousness training program for spiritual adepts to advance their awareness and powers.
Founded Modern Buddhism a new Buddhist sangha (sect), in July 2008, with followers throughout the U.S., Europe and Asia.
In high school, at times, I could be a bully, and a thoughtless, narrow-minded jock. Because of my immaturity, I want to finish this profile with a sincere apology for whatever trouble or hurt that I may have caused any of you, my dear classmates of 69'. Each and every one of you are my precious friends.
School Story: Played some sports, read a lot of books, and day dreamed way too much.
Military Service: U.S. Army
Namaste,
Chuck Atkins