Diary of a Chapter Leader

Dog Update and Pack Behavior

First an update on my dog, Jill. She had been losing weight and stopped eating her dry dog food. I started feeding her canned food, but she stopped eating that, too. I took her to the vet, had a blood test and found she was anemic. The vet told me that meant she could have cancer. Then I took advice from one of my readers and started feeding her raw meat. That worked some what, but she really didn't like raw meat. A few days later we had another blood test and she was more anemic. I stared feeding her beef liver and beef heart and ground beef cooked for a minute or two in the microwave. She liked that. I chanted with this determination in mind - a visualization, that her body would start to absorb the iron and her bones would start making red blood cells. A few days ago I realized she had put back on her weight and she is much peppier. I just let her out to bark at a possum. She hasn't done that in months.

Next, some thoughts on pack behavior. I have watched a TV program called The Dog Whisperer for about a year. If you are unfamiliar with the show, it follows a man named Caesar who is an expert at dog psychology. He started with a pack of rottweilers. He watched their behavior in the pack - everything from how the leader kept control to how the pack responded to a new dog. The show follows him as he home visits people with dog problems. Every dog problem starts with humans. Usually the humans are not the pack leaders, the dog feel the need to take that position. That leads to possessive or violent behavior. In one episode, a woman had chosen her tiny dog over her son. She allowed it to attach the boy and she did nothing to stop it. The problems usually come from the owners tendency to think of the dog as "my baby" and not a dog. The dog needs leadership or it will take the pack leader position and control the humans in whatever way it can.
After watching this for several months, I started noticing that dog pack behavior in human groups - friends, co-workers, family, civic groups and of course SGI. As humans, we can share the Pack Leader role, but someone needs to be the leader or the pack can not progress. This reminds me of the "Where do you want to eat?" scenario. After a couple of rounds of "I don't know" someone will usually just make a decision - the pack leader. If no one takes the lead, no one eats.
In other groups, a leader is appointed. In work groups, there is usually an appointed leader. What happens if that leader sucks at leading? Either someone steps up or chaos. I think this situation creates the "Bitch" or the "Asshole." The equivalent of the violent dog. "Someone has to lead this group. I'll do it, but I suck at it. But I can't let them know that." I think everyone has encountered this.

I have this happening in my area is SGI. The area leaders want out. They have had this position for 5 years and they just want a break. They do the best they can, but they are tired. And this is not an easy area to lead. So in the absence of heavy-handed leadership, one person has felt the need to be involved in everything and has turned into "The Bitch/Asshole." This person doesn't see that, just wants to help. I can't take it any longer. If this person treats me like a 5th grader one more time, I might blow. And, yes, I chant about this. I know it is me, I am the one upset. I can take responsibility for that, but it still drives many of us nuts. In other packs, I would tell this person how I feel and help him/her learn how to lead people. But SGI is different. Leaders in SGI have to manage people while keeping the faith. It's never easy.
I am the pack leader at work. If this person worked for me, he/she would be on probation by now or maybe gone. We would have had a sit down and he/she would understand his/her position. If you can't follow the rules, you have to go. But you can't get fired in SGI. Well, you really have to work at it to get fired. You could refuse to sign the form or you could write on Fraughtwithperil. But for most members. you can't be fired. So how do you discipline a member, I mean lead a member, to do the right thing?
In volunteer groups, it always seems that the person with the least experience in leading wants or insists on leading. For me, it's stay at home moms. Absolutely no experience except with their kids, so that is how they treat everyone. Same thing with school teachers. I really enjoy working in a groups led by someone with experience.
To finish this up, the next time you encounter the "Bitch" or the "Asshole," think about the Dog Whisperer and his dog psychology. Maybe he just needs some help.