Diary of a Chapter Leader

What is the goal?

I have talked about goals before. That was about stuff or achievements. This time I am talking about the end, the aim. I started thinking about this a few weeks ago when my kids were home visited by two local YWD leaders. I was busy that day with guests and wasn't involved with the home visit. When it was over and I talked to the kids, I wondered was there a goal? Was there a plan to achieve the goal? Did the leaders chant before they went out to these visits? So many questions, no answers. I soon started to think about other activities and how the goal can be missed.

Sometimes one of my daughters wants me to do something for her, but ends up yelling at me. I often ask if this was planned and if she thought this course of action was expected to work. She is always too worked up to answer. If she were to think about her goal and make a plan to get there, I would most likely do what she asks. But emotions take over and she just can't help herself and her goal goes unmet.

I find that sometimes the stated goal and the underlying goal are at odds. Have you ever had an argument with someone close to you and tried to stop it? If one of you is not ready to stop, the goal can not be reached. The stated goal is to stop arguing, but the underlying goal is to get those last few snipes in. One of my district leaders wants to put on a lecture about Buddhism for the public. I asked her the goal. It is to introduce people to SGI. But, I believe, the underlying goal is to be the lecturer. Which goal will be achieved? The underlying, personal goal. Well, actually neither will happen, because we helped her find an alternative activity that can involve everyone.

This happens when chanting... at least to me. I know the goal. I chant for wisdom to make it happen. I chant for confidence. I chant for a positive outcome. I have a plan. But deep down... doubt. I have tried this before. I have failed every time. What if it doesn't happen? Oh, this will never happen. So which goal will be achieved? I can overcome the doubt most of the time when chanting, but this one thing is just so scary. So I chant. I chant much more now than I have in a long time. I want something, not just stuff. Since it involves "human revolution" on my part, it is not as easy as chanting a few minutes and doing it. I must overcome my own delusion, my inner darkness. Now that is something to chant about.

The point of this is to chant to understand the deep dark secret goal. There are always goals in SGI.

***40 home visits this month***
What is the stated goal? To encourage 40 people. What is the deep dark secret goal? To log 40 home visits , no matter what? To tell other members how many home visits you did?

***1000 members donate to SGI in May***
When there is a big natural disaster somewhere in the world, I donate to the Red Cross for that disaster. It never crosses my mind that I will get anything in return for this donation. I just want to help the people who need it. Every year when May Contribution comes around, we have to walk this fine line. SGI is a very wealthy organization. It will survive with or without my donation. So why should I donate? There is the fine line. We are told not to do it with the expectation of financial return, but then all the experiences are about financial gain after donating large sums to SGI. So what is the stated goal? This is an opportunity to show your appreciation for all you have gained through SGI. What is the underlying goal? The more you donate, the more benefit will come your way. It is a fine line that many members just don't understand. Most just donate because that is what is expected.

My final thoughts:
The more I study the gosho, the more I come to understand what Nichiren was talking about. The inner darkness, the delusion, is in all of us, we just don't always see or acknowledge it. Nam(u) myoho renge kyo is the way to shed light on that darkness. I have read all the gosho. I have gone to countless study meetings, but until I took the initiative to study for myself, I never really understood the power of Nichiren's Buddhism. I didn't understand what many of the concepts meant. I could give you an explanation, but I didn't understand. Little by little I am shedding some light by chanting and study.

Posted by nt at November 10, 2009 08:28 PM