Last night we had our regular Monday night chanting meeting. This time it was also a planning meeting. There were four of us - my WD group leader, our chapter study liaison, our MD district/chapter leader, and me. We planned for next month and our district meeting next week and we talked about the new district that the chapter and area are trying to form. This always leads to the discussion of the Japanese Pioneer Women's Division (JPWD) members who seem to be opposed to everything we do. A year ago, our district had two women who were already taking care of other members. We wanted to promote both to group leader. Our Japanese WD chapter leader came to my house and told me what the JPWD said about my appointments. Neither was ready for promotion for various reasons (one was still learning gongyo and I think they just didn’t like the other one). I explained that these women were already doing the job and, coincidentally, districts can appoint their own group leaders.
After the meeting, our group leader asked to speak to the district leaders alone. She had gone to dinner with the JPWD member who introduced her to SGI. She said the JPWD member was going to talk to us, but our group leader was asked to “break the ice.” She was told that the JPWD members had noticed that our MD chapter leader sometimes walks out during the PI video at World Peace Prayer and that is not the correct behavior for a district chief. Funny thing is… he sat through the last one. I left because my older daughter had gone to the car and I went to check on her. Man, those videos are boring and way too long. We both want to support the activity, but just can’t sit through the video.
My MD chapter leader is going crazy. He is equating the JPWD members to yakuza. He’s not going to take this… you get the picture. He called our area WD leader last night and she was very upset. She has been aware of the problem for some time now. Their behavior is in opposition to the area goals. The other upsetting thing is that they sent a group leader to chastise a chapter leader. This could have been so bad for us, but we all have a very open friendship so this crap won’t cause problems in the district.
I, OTOH, think this is the perfect time to get this out in the open and fix it. I have been in this chapter for almost 9 years. I noticed, from the very beginning, that the JPWD acted like a clique. They get together, speak Japanese, and then tell the rest of us what’s going to happen. I took that for years thinking that was just the way it was around here. Then one day I talked about it with some other district members and found out, it happens to all of us. These are not your grandmotherly types – more like piranhas. Now it all comes out. It’s not paranoia if someone is really out to get you.
This is a very dysfunctional area. It’s not going to grow until we fix it. Now I can see what has been happening. If you have ever seen those nanny shows or the dog training shows, they point out that the kids or dogs are out of control because no one ever stopped the behavior or set boundaries. That’s what we need to do here, help them understand that they are hindering growth in the area and explain the goals of the area.
I brought this on last fall when I wrote down three big determinations. One was that our chapter becomes an area. After that, things started to happen. The JPWD started to oppose every idea, every promotion, everything new. I learned how to push back in a kind and understanding way, but I did begin to exert myself for the chapter and district members. I am taking everything that is happening as a stepping-stone toward my goal. We must overcome this division and work together to build SGI in Salinas and Monterey.
Nancy,
If your going to worry about appointments, titles, labels, then this is always going to be a problem regardless if they are Japanese or not. You are stronger that that. You have the whose cosmos at your beck and call and you can change anything, especially something as weak as people imposing something upon you that doesn't exist like an idea. But if you want to think about it structurally, everyone in a position of responsibility that is supposedly up the food chain in SGI, works for those below. If you think about it, you could politely fire the JPWD.
Face it, Nancy, this kind of thing is endemic to the organization. You and others in scattered pockets around the country are fighting nobly intended holding actions. In the end, you will either have to break from the organization in order to facilitate an advance of mainstream Nichiren Buddhism in your area, or succumb and drink the kool-aid. It will prove impossible in the long run to remain a part of the SGI-USA and practice as YOU know you should, and want to.
Resistance may be rewarding, and even fun, but in the end, it's futile. I offer this with love.
Cheers!
Andy
Posted by: Andy Hanlen at April 24, 2008 04:20 PMBec may have a point that the JPWD may see a group meeting where their game plan is over-ridden in some way as a humiliation. This whole Japan/US thing is way too weird for me. Ask your MD Chapter leader - he goes to Japan sometimes, doesn't he? He might have some better insight into that.
At then end of the day, it may just simply be about playing by American rules regardless of whether the Japanese want to play along or not. That means, you may have to just simply give someone the responsibility of being a group leader and they might not get the appointment. You may grow into an area without getting the name. Nichiren Shoshu played head games with the Gakkai for years in denying us the ability to recive mandala Gohonzon, right? And what happened is that people learned they could practice just fine without them.
You have been assuming that aparticular management structure is necessary for growing a large local organization. You may find out that that is not true. Do what you need to do, regardless of what the JPWD think, and they will either catch up to you or not.
That's my 2 cents, anyway.
Good luck, Wahzoh
Posted by: Byrd in LA at April 24, 2008 12:51 PMNancy - wow, this is familiar! I grew up in the SGI started at age 15. My parents did not practice, so the Japanese ladies who would be the age of your JPWD 'raised' me, so I totally understand where they are coming from. First of all, your area IMO is not particularly dysfunctional. I have seen this in at least 2 other areas.
Anyway, walking out from a PI video would definitely make them doubt your sincerity. That is nonnegotiable for them. I certainly get that the JPWD don't trust the leadership of your area.
By the way, I love your MD chapter chief! This is such a healthy and normal reaction on his part, so male! I would really cherish him and let him know you have his back, so to speak. Men sometimes can cut thru the bullshit better.
Now, how to solve the problem. You are NOT going to solve this problem by having a meeting with the JPWD. If anything, that will make it worse. Because that is dissing them publicly if things don't go their way. They will see it as a form of humiliation and disrespect for their many years of sacrifice to SGI.
Second, the real problem lies with your Area and Chapter Leaders. Their job is to make the decisions, not discuss appointments or direction with other people like the JPWD. Your chapter and area WD leaders need to stop doing that TODAY. That is the meeting you need to have, with region involved if necessary. That is the source of the problems in your area.
I find it a little childish to expect the JPWD to support or even like what you are doing. They have the Gohonzon. They can chant. We too have to allow for diversity of opinions and that not everybody is going to like what you are doing. We have to learn to be okay with that.
Finally, they will come around to supporting you all, even though it may take years. That will happen when you leaders as a team show actual proof through the growth of your area.
Hope my thoughts help you some.
Posted by: Bec in CA at April 24, 2008 12:17 PMHey Bruce -
Don't assume we don't listen to you. You have a different perspective on Buddhism. For some of us, chanting helps us focus on our goal and figure out the best way to proceed. By saying "Just do it" and all that original enlightenment stuff, you also sound like a Christian who knows Jesus died for their sins and all is forgiven.
I do read your posts and I wish you would blog about your ideas without slamming SGI. SGI is different than NSA and you can't know the difference because you quit in 1975.
Nancy
I think of chanting because the first action I usually think of in a conflict is "not worth the jail time" :) I know I am not at my best when I am pissed, convinced that the problem is only outside of me. Attitude adjustment goes a long way towards finding a way to change a situation. Not being a doormat, not accepting the status quo but finding a soft power way to change.
Seriously though if we cannot create peace in our local organizations, then all bets are off for creating world peace.
I have this habit of reading the Writings of Nichiren Daishonin. There are a plethora of references and guidances about chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo re challenges with work colleagues, bosses, family disputes, health issues, when there are weather changes, war....All those wonderful earthly desires and obstacles that make us deluded, unhappy humans. I see those life challenges as opportunities for spiritual growth and advancement.
YMMV....
Posted by: Dr. Mimi at April 23, 2008 02:45 PMDoesn't I will chant for you sound so very similar to I will pray for you in a Christian sense? If you want to make something happen, you just make something happen, after all you have Buddha Nature, don't you believe in 3000 worlds in a momentary state of life? Every thing you do, you do as a person with Buddha Nature, a living Bodhisattva that had merits transferred from the Eternal Buddha Shakyamuni, there is no need to pray? Where did Buddha ever say to pray for anything?
Seems like when you follow rules fabricated by Humans to sound like they are Buddhism, like the SGI does, there are problems that are always springing up that have to be solved, live a hamster in a cage going for that carrot.
You probably won't listen to me, and it probably doesn't even make sense to you, I know, I was in the NSA from 1968-75.
Maltz
This may sound self evident... perhaps a lot of daimoku would help... Having been in a similar situation, I have prayed to be able to listen to the other side and for the other side to be able to hear me. I would focus on opening up dialogue so progress could be made. Nothing is gained from making things even more adversarial.
Putting hours of hours of daimoku towards this kind of situation has created great change in the chapter where I am currently practicing. We are growing in districts and members. Although there is still some conflict (that is unavoidable whenever people are concerned), there is greater energy and effort towards dialogue, consensus making and unity.
The really wonderful thing is that youth division are popping up like daisies all over our area! Younger mens and womens division members are joining (in the 35-50 year old age category). There is a feeling of freshness and growth.
It wasn't like that here even two years ago.
Positive change can and does happen. But I find I have to take it back to the Gohonzon, chant abundantly, study the Gosho deeply and go out and support others (not just members).
But it meant I had to break through my own angry, adversarial and blaming tendencies, reflect on myself and decide what kind of organization do I want to practice in.
My co group leader and I have set a strong goal to make our meetings places where people can talk from their hearts and leave happier than when they came. That doesn't mean happy happy joy joy talk but supporting and encouraging others to breakthrough.
Best!
Thanks Mike.
St. Clair,
Our WD area leader is going to schedule a meeting with all the area, chapter and district leaders and all the pioneers to attempt to accomplish what you have suggested - state the area goals and try to get the pioneer women to speak.
As for the YD... we have very few youth, a few of our children and some college students. We ask the YD to take on anything and we will support, but the older ones are busy with school or work. My 12 year old daughter has been the MC at the last two World Peace Prayer meetings. She is also involved with the Victory Over Violence campaign. Both my daughters attend a YWD gathering at our chapter YWD leaders house and look forward to it.
I think we have to be careful about how we treat the young people of our area. If we tell them we will support them, we better do it - and not (as you say) take over or take off.
I think this is going to be a great time for our area. I can't wait.
Nancy
Nancy,
I wonder what is going on in their minds ( the pioneer members) when they make decisions like that? One of the features that I think is sometimes admirable but can be kind of a bad thing by the way its executed is that I notice that the style of SGI especially the pioneer women- they are very strict and I think its coming from this strict training- no deviations from the path- no dilution. But doing things the same way can choke the life out a teaching sometimes- especially when the world around it has changed so much. they want to preserve things and protect this buddhism and they have strict ideas about how to go about doing that? or is it just down right mean spirited authoritarianism. Dismantle it somewhow? There seems to be this overprotection going on. Eventually they are going to have to pass the torch right? they want kosen rufu right? In my district the youth division had to stand up and literally wrestle some responsibility for themselves out of the hands of the adults. (isn'tPresident Ikeda always encouraging the youth to stand up and take action?)- but in our case the youth had been marginalized and somewhat overprotected to the point where I knew that they could stand up and take action and lead but the adults would have a hard time seeing that- Its like they could not see them as anything other than youth- t(hey are afterall their babies)- when it was so clear to me that they understood alot. and it was this battle of wills which in the end was really cool. The youth had to fight the adults to get more involved being a bigger presence of Kosen rufu gongyo. they grew from that experience. At what point will the members who have trained the younger or newer folks stand back and let people participate? For the youth division - they worked hard and it was about proving that they could do it. but no adult was going to say - you know maybe we should let the youth do this...then they would have just hung around on the sidelines and all that potential would have been lost. could you hold a meeting and ask the pioneer ladies to hear you out- hear them out. call them out about this authority? If they want to teach people about buddhism, if they want to spread the law and since they feel entitled to knowing what is best for everyone then ask them point blank - okay what do you recommend for growth in our area?
At what point are people ready to be leaders? Dialogue about these changes you wish to implement- are they afraid that these changes are detrimental - that they could erode the buddhism they think they are protecting? could they maybe see how those changes are postive and could help breathe life into your area? Change seems uncomfortable for older folks in general. I am in empathy with your frustrations. I think though how can someone chant and be so closed minded or pirahna like- how does that happen? I will chant for your area to grow - for everyone to trust and open up to each others ideas and that a very positive outcome comes through this challenge.
St. clair
Posted by: St. Clair at April 23, 2008 07:33 AMNancy -
Good luck, and may all your efforts bear positive fruit!
Namaste, Engyo Mike Barrett
Posted by: Engyo Mike Barrett at April 23, 2008 04:38 AM