Diary of a Chapter Leader

Well Joe, I'll tell you who I am - I am their friend. Several of us advised them to find there own way. Friends are supposed to help friends.

This is my blog and this is my side of the story. If you don't like it - you know what you can do. That's right, don't read it. I know my friend, you don't know shit.

Who is Nancy to be telling her members that they should break up with their partners and then taking the liberty of writing to this guy in jail and telling him what he should be doing, particularly knowing his potential for violence? Did anyone chant with these members and encourage them to seek to the gohonzon and their own innate wisdom/buddhahood to find their own answers to their own problems? That's what leaders in the sgi are supposed to do, regardless of how things may have been in the NSA days. This tendency that guidance is about telling people how to live their lives is not the stage we are currently in. There are many, many members who have transformed abusive relationship situations through their practice within the sgi, so please do not turn this tragedy around as yet another half-baked reason to denigrate this organization. Nancy is writing her perceptions of the feelings of a private person (she wanted someone to take care of, her relationship was co-dependent, etc). I agree with Patrick, you don't have the right to express priviledged information about a private person in a public forum without their express consent. And even if the case is printed in the newspapers,that doesn't automatically transform her into a public personality. You are still writing about the life of another person. You can write about YOUR experience of this, but is not fair to write about her's, based on your priviledged knowledge. We don't know what causes any of us has made and what's immutable, etc. A leader in Japan recently said that from the standpoint of the eternity of life, it's not important how one dies, as is the life-condition they die in. So as tragic as this is, if this member was in a state of really respecting and realizing the value of her own life, because of cause and effect, perhaps she'll be reborn with an inherent respect for her own life so perhaps she'll never have to experience this kind of situation again. And great if this helps other people experiencing domestic violence issues to challenge their situations in the way that's best for them, though having a workshop at someone's memorial doesn't seem like the most sensitive thing to do.

I second that motion! I agree that it would be cool to have a KHK blogger here.

For me, i am just going to the Ankers' house tomorrow, and I will be chanting for Jean's enlightenment, adn also for Nancy's voice of the Buddha.

Talk to you all later, Byrd in LA

Mark - thank you for your reply.

You may be right about maintaining the anti-KHS site. Rather than make threats against the writer of this blog, find out who it is and we'll write about it. Nancy certainly has no connection to the originators of the trash sites of any sort.

All the SGI-fueled sites about Kempon Hokke are asinine and worse, wholly inaccurate. In fact one of my biggest pet peeves is that no one in the Nichiren sectarian fights seems to really understand what the other side thinks is true.

And as far as Mentor and Disciple, don't even get me started.

You seem to be invested in defending Kempon Hokke, why not write a blog about it - here on FWP? We've never had a sincere Kempon Hokke writer.

Rev. Greg

Rev. Greg, I respect your guidance on this matter. However, I don't buy that the originators of this site are no longer maintaining the sites. My observation is, and please correct me if I'm wrong, after several years, if a site has been abandoned it disappears. Many anti-SGI sites from the Nichiren Shoshu are no longer existant, for example. But these SGI sites persist. Someone has to be funding them after 8-9 years and there are plenty abhorrant SGI sites still around (would you like their urls?).

As far as the early development of the KHK in america, you know what the Lotus Sutra and Nichiren Daishonin says about criticizing true votaries whether true or not so I think your criticisms are unwarrented. The SGI and the Nichiren Shoshu in particular, have taken the end off the sutra here and placed it there, the middle in the front and end to the middle and added their own ideas. For every quote that President Ikeda is purported to have written about following the Lotus Sutra and Nichiren there are ten or twenty about following him as mentor. The latest SGI study campaign that the principle teaching of the Lotus Sutra is the Master Disciple relationship is a glaring example.

Mark

Thanks for the offer Mark. Please don't make the mistake that others do in pigeon-holing all the SGI. Those horrible websites regarding Kempon Hokke were put up a long time ago by unnamed NSA members, many of whom probably aren't practicing now. If they were put up by the Rubys, I haven't heard from them in years.

All of the Gakkai-related sites having to do with Kempon Hokke aren't even accurate in their assertions or conclusions regarding the Kempon Hokke sect. That being said, the activities of the original USA Kempon Hokke "group" were equally as unrepresentative as the Gakkai websites. You know exactlty what I mean.

We in the US Nichiren world are not Church of Scientology, and the end does NOT justify the means. Claiming to have faith in Nichiren's Buddhism does not justify bad, or even evil behavior on anyone's part, SGI, Nichiren Shoshu OR (especially) Kempon Hokke who clearly claims to be the sole orthodox Nichiren sect.

But in short - that's a big problem with websites, they just sit there and fester. Doesn't mean anyone is paying attention Mark.

Al this being said, I think you know if you act with evil intent, you risk ruining newly rekindled relationships. No one likes an evil Man, even if they claim to be on their side.

Rev. Greg

A Kempon Hokke woman committed suicide some years back and the SGI still has a web site devoted to this tragedy, blaming the Kempon Hokke faith and practice for her death. If you work to take this website down, I will see what I can do to not make this woman's death an issue.

http://members.aol.com/kempon/hokkeshu/suicide.htm

I'll say a prayer for you on Sunday, Nancy. FWIW, I heard an interesting experience, which I hope does not come off as too superstitious.

A friend was chanting about a situation where she didn't know what to say. She emphasized the "kyo" in her diamoku, whichis to say, she empasized the "sutra", "sound", "teaching", or "Buddha's voice" portion of the daimoku. The result was that the right language came to her more easily. I myself have borrowed this technique before job interviews and other stressful situations where I wasn't sure what to say, or if I was going to start making notes for a presentation.

Good luck - you'll do fine.

Your friend, Byrd in LA

P.S. I, too, apologize for sounding harsh -- I can't imagine how stressful this must be for you.

Kris,
Here is a little secret about Rev. Greg: he's sarcastic with a little smile. If you've had a chance to read Don's latest blog, you'll see what the Rev. was referencing.

I'm sure the Rev. was JK (Just Kidding, as my daughter would say)

And thanks for the support from all of you. The memorial is Sunday. I'm expected to speak. I've been chanting, but don't know what I'll say.

Nancy

Sigh. I'm sad that Greg took my comments as uncompassionate. I hope Nancy and others did not. It is a tragic situation.

I think Greg, that this situation touched a nerve. I know of a few people who are still alive (luckily), but who are deeply scarred due to the actions of well meaning but uninformed SGI leaders. I simply hope to see the SGI build a safer place for the vulnerable. How you can view this as lacking compassion is odd.

And I do feel sorrow for the loss so many must feel. And yes, I am saddened too for Eddie, and for those who love and know him too. I still don't think it may have been wise to make him a "leader", but that's okay. I'm not a member of the SGI.

Blessings on you, Nancy, and all your folk down there.
Kris

Ashley - laced with sarcasm? Maybe you're thinking of another Rev. Greg?

You say; "I'm a mixed bag, I'm afraid. I've too often felt the SGI to be a cold, corporate empire, obsessively fixated on promotion of the organization through shallow campaigns, commemorations, and excessive adulation of PI"

Seriously Ashley, I think maybe you don't sincerely understand the Master and Disciple relationship. Maybe you need to seek guidance?

Rev. Greg

Hi, everyone - Greg, I am sorry if I came across as lacking in compassion. Believe me, I didn't spend years of my life as a volunteer supervising attorney at a domestic violence legal clinic because I lack compassion.

Greg,the situation you described was a "classic" DV situation. The fact that this woman was given "strict guidance" to break up with a known violent offender, and was not simultaneously told about safehouse options only shows that the person who gave her this guidance was horribly ignorant of how these homicides work.

Any target of domestic violence is at greatest risk when she breaks up with her batterer. Look at Nicole Brown Simpson. Killed on the very day she signed her divorce papers. I never, ever, advised a client to break up with a batterer without having a safety plan in place. Ever.

The Gakkai is not God - we cannot simply give people strict guidance to place themselves at risk and then expect that the risk miraculously won't be there simply because an ignorant leadership didn't see it.

Anyway, I am talking to my WD leaders down here about trying to set up a set of informational meetings on DV for leaders. We can turn this poison into medicine, I know that.

Hang tight, Nancy. This is a horrible, horrible experience for everyone involved. I'm glad this man was caught, and I hope he gets life (this has to be his third strike, no?)

Bye for now, Byrd in LA

Hello Greg:

Although your response appears to be laced with sarcasm, I understand and respect your POV. I also want to apologize for coming off the way I did. I doth project way too much, and my own convoluted brand of compassion is often expressed poorly. I'm a mixed bag, I'm afraid. I've too often felt the SGI to be a cold, corporate empire, obsessively fixated on promotion of the organization through shallow campaigns, commemerations, and excessive adulation of PI. I'm sorry to sound like I've blamed anyone in particular for what has happened. I didnt't want to do that at all, but ended up seeming to do it anyway. I extend my apologies to Nancy. I am sorry to have offended you in any way. Please accept.

Ashley

Kris, Ashley, Byrd, Michele -

Thank you for your comments. I will take these to my district and chapter members and talk about what we can do for all SGI members who suffer tragedies. SGI is not prepared for bad stuff. We need to help the people involved with counseling, education and personal support. Now I know where to get advice on Domestic Violence.

Thanks,
Nancy

Dear wholly uncompassionate people, thank you for all your warm letters of compassion and sympathy. Here's a couple of tidbits you may wish to consider while writing your letters of curses and disapproval;

Jean, to the very end of her life, fully thought she was in control of her relationship. She proved this when she violated Eddie's probation previously. I know for a fact that Jean was given the strictest guidance to end her romantic relationship with Eddie once he was out of jail this last time, and she chose not to, or was unable to. Eddie had been given the same guidance by way of a letter while in jail.

Jean was the dominant player in their relationship, and I am certain that she could have never accepted that Eddie had that sort of rage still in him. SURPRISE! Testosterone can be a dangerous thing.

Victim? Certainly. But not the kind of victim we are used to hearing about in DV. There were no safe houses or restraining order in her life, because she never felt she needed them.

Anyway, Nancy's leaders have been a great support, and themselves have received strict guidance. Some karma is immutable. To curse someone after such an unprecedented Sansho Shima has occured, and after she has been willing to share this in her new blog shows the absolute antithesis of compassion, and a high level of selfish emotional baggage on all your part.

Thanks for not disappointing.

Rev. Greg

P.S. Eddie was promoted to unit chief because the Eddie Nancy and her co-leaders knew was a warm, shy and loving man struggling with recovery and his Buddhist practice, plus he clearly met the requirements for becoming a unit chief, which was to have one other Men's division to chant for.

Nancy,

I hope for the sake of all abused/battered partners all the members effected can take this horrific event and use it as a way to educate people, and make the world a safer place.

Next, Ashley... you are so right. (I, like you, found myself thinking, they made him a leader even knowing he was still violent?! Oh, lord, how could they do that?). When I was a member of the SGI, we had a situation where a potentially dangerous individual was "hidden" by an appointed leader, a leader who had previously endangered members by "hiding" a person with similar issues (higher level sex offender status).

The situation got ugly in part, I think, because many of the up line leaders were, in short, poorly trained in what we in the west call "pastoral counseling".

I try not to advise the SGI to do this, that, or the other thing (though I've been guilty of that). The truth is, its members have and will make it what they collectively want it to be. I just hope, for the sake of the lives of many children, men and women that they chose to build something better and stronger as a consequence of incidences like this

I was going to say "I will go chant for your friend, Jean, and all those who knew and are touched by her" and I will, but I will also try to encompass all those who are victims of violence, too....

Namu Myo Ho Renge Kyo, and may strength be with you,
Kris

I do not want to sound harsh here, because although I do agree Byrd's suggestion is a good one, it's a small band aid on a large wound. Nancy, based on what you wrote above, how is it that this individual was appointed as a group leader after he was known to have threatened or assaulted Jean only several months ago? Surely she talked with leaders, who advised her to do what? Strongly recommend she secure a restraining order, get some DV counseling, or even move so that he does not know where she lives? That's what they should have done. Instead he is appointed into a leadership position. I could just cry. This SGI bubble needs to break, and break soon. Leaders are trained to tell people to "chant diamoku" as a way to solve problems. What leaders really need are referral lists, and knowledge of community organizations. They need to be able to recognize a dangerous situation, and a dangerous person when they see one. SGI leaders need to wake up and smell the coffee. But I doubt it, because in the SGI, life goes on as usual, and attention spans are short because they are waiting for the next round of canned guidance from PI and the rest of them. I've worked as a DV counselor for years. I work in a domestic violence safehouse for heavens sake. I know of one DV situation that is brewing in the local SGI membership right at this moment. And I'm sure it's not the only one.

So, what's the new beginning? You say "we all want to make this the turning point in our lives?" What does that mean? Turning point to where, and for what? You contacted "retired" MD members? What relevance does that have to this situation? I just don't get what you are talking about.

I've been frustrated with the SGI for a long time, now. I think the organization needs to be scrapped and built from the ground up by the members.
Sorry for the vent.

Ashley

I agree with Byrd. I hope that your chapter WD members can change-poison-into-medicine through discussion of domestic violence. If it helps just one woman, it's worth it.

Learn, shed light, be open, and speak truth with one another. Help your members express their thoughts, feelings, and fears.

Regarding personal information, this is a time when sharing what happened to someone else could be life-saving for others. It's quite different from the unthinking, meaningless gossip that often spreads like wildfire throughout districts, chapters, and areas.

I look forward to reading about your WD meeting.

Namu Myoho Renge Kyo,
Michele

Nancy, if I were you I would just delete this entire line of comments, as it is inapplicable in this case - for what it's worth, Nancy is not quoting or performing any particular copyrighted "work" at all, so she cannot be infringing. She is authoring her own material,so your citation is irrelevant.

This is way, way off-topic, and Patrick has the law wrong - please delete the line and let your readers discuss the DV issue.

Bye for now, Byrd

P.S. Yes, Patrick, I do have a license to practice law, and there is no infringement here. This is ridiculously off-topic.

Nancy, if I were you I would just delete this entire line of comments, as it is inapplicable in this case - for what it's worth, Nancy is not quoting or performing any particular copyrighted "work" at all, so she cannot be infringing. She is authoring her own material,so your citation is irrelevant.

This is way, way off-topic, and Patrick has the law wrong - please delete the line and let your readers discuss the DV issue.

Bye for now, Byrd

P.S. Yes, Patrick, I do have a license to practice law, and there is no infringement here. This is ridiculously off-topic.

http://www.copyright.gov/title17/circ92.pdf

To perform or display a work “publicly” means— (1) to perform or display it at a place open to the public or at any place where a substantial number of persons outside of a normal circle of a family and its social acquaintances is gathered;

definition of public above. the entire document can be read online at the above link.

Patrick

Phillip,
Unless you have investigated the copyright infringement act of 1992 you are expressing an opnion and not the law.

What I stated above is the law and not an opinion.

This is an old conversation before. Call your lawyer before you express your opinion as a fact. You are wrong on your opinion here.

Spend some money and find out the law and not the opinion.

Patrick

There is no copyright infringement unless yuou are quoting someone else's work. If I posted an article from a newspaper that could be copyright infringement. If what you are posting is your own work copyright doesn't come into it at all. If you post slanderous things about someone you could be sued for libel but in the U.S. to prevail you must show malice. Nothing here would constitute either.
ch

Byrd -
Thanks for the insight. I like your idea about DV as our WDGM topic. It fits our district motto, "I Will Courageously Advance."
Nancy

Byrd says.."FWIW, Nancy - I have had this discussion several times with Patrick - if something is in the newspaper, or if it is announced at a meeting, I general consider it's OK to write about. Or you might just change the names of the people you're referring to."

Actually Byrd we have never had this conversation where you put other people's private business out on the internet.

We spoke once about how you took what an individual said at an SGI event and made a Blog abouth that person's opinion. I noted you should speak to the person and not about the person behind their back on the internet.

This is quite different set of circumstances. revealing intimate information about people without their consent, that you otherwqise would not have access to without initmate relationship.

Nancy,

Using other people's circumstances as writing materials is actually not appropriate unless you get the other person's permission in writing first.

The copyright infirngement act of 1992 is potential for a law suit, either by an organization or an individual.

I would sauggest a read of this law unless you are interested in being sued by both the organization and the individuals involved.

This also covers written materials as well as spoken materials; such as lectures; in a private setting where privacy is expected and not in the public where no privacy is expected.

At an SGI event privacy is expected by those attending within the SGI.

FWIW, I am a practicing Architect and this law is quite common in my practice and I speak with my lawyers about this on a regular basis. Copyright infringement Act of 1992.

I have spoken with other memebrs that have distributed materials without the authors consent and others found out they were wrong on that count, and my lawyer is right on regarding the law. I have been represented over the same issue prior in court.

I would ask the district members if they want their lives spoken of in public on your blog. Legal issues and respect issues.

Patrick

For those interested in following the case, there are four short articles online at the Salinas Californian.

A tragic death occurred in my area last year, and over 300 people came to the funeral. I hope the SGI community will come together and support each other.

FWIW, Nancy - I have had this discussion several times with Patrick - if something is in the newspaper, or if it is announced at a meeting, I general consider it's OK to write about. Or you might just change the names of the people you're referring to.

Personally, I think the issue of domestic violence is way too critical, and needs to be discussed. I'm going to suggest at my Chapter level that the WD have a "teach-in" on this topic. Thanks a lot for bringing it up. Best, Byrd in LA

Nancy,
I hope you asked your members permission before you posted personal information about their lives, of which you would not be aware of if you were not an asigned leader in the SGI-USA.

Rescpecting others privacy.

People deserve to be asked before you put their lives on the internet. People did not join the SGI for their lives to be used without their permission.

Even the SGI requires a release before a member can have their experience published in the SGI publications.

You are publishing members experiences and should have the members permission first; I would think, if not just out of respect for other members privacy; before posting about the lives of SGI members on line.

Patrick

That's how it happens - battered women are always at the greatest risk of being killed when they break off a relationship. Having spent many years in the DV field, this may be a great opportunity for your women's division members to learn about domestic violence, its signs, and the patterns of behavior that develop in battering situations.

I'm so sorry that Jean apparently didn't have a "safe house" plan in place for herself when she finally broke up with Eddie. Breaking up with a batterer is not only hard to do, it canbe fatal. Ask Nicole Simpson. Anyway, a "safe house" plan is essential - if battered women don't have that kind of plan in place, as well as a legal restraining order, things can end up tragically, like this. I think this is a great teaching oportunity for you and for the women in your local organization. Why not combine the funeral and a domestic violence "teach-in" of sorts with some sort of representative from a local DV shelter? They really value the opportunity to do "outreach", and the WD could build a bridge to an important community resource. Just a concept.

Congratulations on caring so much about your members --- they're lucky to have you as their Gakkai leader. I am so very, very sorry for this tragedy. Take good care of yourself, too, don't forget!

Best regards from Byrd in LA