Hello folks! So very sorry that I haven't written in awhile. It's the morning sickness that's been getting to me. Yes. It's a miracle (although technically they don't exist in Buddhism). I'm having a baby in January.
All my adult life I've been infertile. I have a daughter born in 1993 after six years of trying and eight years of chanting. I chanted my ass off for her. It still took forever to get pregnant. Many invasive, painful procedures and a pregnancy from hell later, it happened. I chalked it up as a benefit from the Gohonzon and my practice. And maybe that is true. I may not have had the stamina to continue to try so long if I had not had faith.
However, this time, due to my estrangement and disillusionment with the Gakkai, I chanted only a little, teeny bit. And here I am, pregnant on the fdirst try, totally unremarkable pregnancy -- feeling fine now, actually. It actually occurred to me that perhaps, just maybe, all that chanting may have made it more difficult the first time? Who knows? Who can tell. I'm happy to be having another baby at long last, no matter what forces granted me this wish.
Which brings me to beheadings. Specifically that of Daniel Pearl's. When he was kidnapped, I, like so many other Gakkai memebers and well wishers from around the globe, began praying for him to survive. His wife, Marianne, was sending heartfelt e-mails to Gakkai members and I recieved them and was moved enough to download his photo and put in next to my Gohonzon and chant for him every day.
Of course, none of the prayers worked. He was grotesquely murdered, while the pregnant Marianne behaved with more spirit and grace than anyone could have ever imagined under the circumstances.
But this -- and the recent spate of obscene beheadings of the innocent - beg the questions: Do prayers work? How powerful are Gakkai prayers cmpared to "other" prayers? Are results that we attribute to cause and effect something we -- as mere humans -- apply after the fact, discounting the times that our prayers are not answered?
Or, like Christians, do we say that some prayers aren't answered, while others are (such a copout, if you ask me!).
Prayer and chanting do seem to lift my spirits, giving me a better life condition. Maybe that's enough to ask for.
Cheers!
Melanie
Melanie -
Congratulations!
I don't know what I can say regarding prayers; for me they work. They don't always work the way I picture them working; it's best when I simply offer gratitude for my problem being solved, before I have actually seen the solution. However this is all for things within my own life. I can't claim any real results for anything relating to anyone else's life or situation. I still offer merits for anyone who requests, though.
Namaste, Engyo Mike Barrett
Posted by: Engyo Mike Barrett at July 15, 2004 05:18 AMHi Melanie!
Congratulations on your upcoming new arrival! I also saw the photo of your daughter and she's lovely.
Like you, I've become disenchanted (no pun intended) with the Gakkai. The power of prayer is something that I've been pondering a lot myself lately. I have an auto-immune disorder which affects my eyesight. The condition has been dormant for several years. I've chanted A LOT about it. There was a time in my life when I was completely convinced that if I ever stopped chanting or left the SGI my eyes would immediately get worse. And, of course, you'll never read an experience in the World Tribune like: "I Stopped Chanting and Life is Still Pretty Good".
But I still believe chanting and prayer helps me and has helped me more than any medical treatments I've recieved. It helps me build up positive energy. I figure there are a lot of mysteries in the universe, and the power of prayer is one of those. I don't understand how it works but I believe that it does.
Shelby
Posted by: Shelby at July 17, 2004 08:07 AMCongrats Melanie!
I've always felt that prayer is sort of what Shelby stated. . .a building up of positive energy. . .fortifying your life with a solid spiritual/happy base so when bad things do happen or something in your life changes you don't suddenly feel lost. Not so much a magical way of shifting your world to fit your perfect idea of what it should be.
A quote from an SGI publication that I like:
"Prayer is determination. Chanting NMRK is not beseeching an outside force for solutions but a means to muster our inner resources to meet life head on. It's an act of praising our own inner Buddhahood, or enlightened state, and causing it to come forth. Rather than begging or wishing, we chant with a strong determination or vow that we will solve our problems, make our dreams come true and fulfill our mission as Bodhisattvas of the Earth."
Yo Melanie! That's great! Congratulations. Hope the morning sickness passes soon. Best - Brian
Posted by: Brian at July 20, 2004 07:04 AMCongratulations on the good news!
As for the efficacy of prayer, at least for me, I try to remind myself that the results of prayers, of chanting, may or may not be immediately obvious...The prayer I say tonight may be laying the groundwork for great good maybe 5, 10 years in the future, not necessarily tomorrow, or even this year. Or perhaps the horrible thing that happened yesterday was the cause of bad "seeds" planted dozens of years ago; but that horrible consequence might in and of itself be the cause of a virtual miracle.
Yeah, sounds all new-agey or Polly Anna-ish, I know...but I have been pondering this of late, too.
I just got back from a mining safety class I was required to take. In the Sunshine Mine disaster of 1972, 91 men died. And yet, because survivors and others studied and documented why the disaster occurred, many hundreds (perhaps thousands of workers) have lived who might otherwise have lost their lives.
I've had deeply personal tragedies that led to enormous good (in the big picture). When my grandmother died, it led to many alienated relatives actually speaking with each other; resulting in a number of reconciliations....
Anyway, kind of a ramble - but I think, if we could see the big picture, perhaps have that "moment of enlightenment", it probably would make sense. At least, I have faith in that.
In all sincerity,
Kris