Joe Isuzu's Daily Slander

Buddha's Wife

EXCERP:
I was taken aback to see women at the camp, as I had always been under the impression that they were forbidden. Pajapati asked a woman carrying water to a group of men if she was with the Buddha.
“I am a lay disciple,” she replied. “We follow our husbands and sons who have been called to live a life of renunciation and seek liberation from desire and suffering.” She continued walking and we followed.
“But surely, they have not allowed you to take orders and don robes like the men?” I asked, running to keep up.
“Oh no,” she replied. “Being of service to the followers of Gotama is reward enough.”
We watched the woman pour her jug of water into the cups of the men with robes and shaved heads. There were not many women present, but one or two I recognized. I saw Yasa’s wife and mother, who had left the province, unexpectedly, six months earlier. Rumors that they had gone to follow the Tathagata circulated freely, but I didn’t realize they had not only sought the Buddha, but had literally joined their husband and son as lay disciples. The realization that, unlike most practices of the day, one did not have to leave their family to follow a religious life threw a cold bucket of pain in my face. I stood as frozen as snow on the peak of a Himalayan mountain in winter. Pajapati was hit with the same realization. She saw the shock on my face and realized what I was thinking.
“Yasodhara,” she said. “Let’s get out of here.”

REALLY?

"A COLD BUCKET OF PAIN IN MY FACE"

REALLY?

"FROZEN AS SNOW ON THE PEAK OF A HIMALAYAN MOUNTAIN IN WINTER"

REALLY?

MY RE-WRITE:
It was hot in Bodh Gaya. When wasn't it? And the way Yasodhara looked in that flimsy saffron burnoose just made things hotter for me. She walked willfully towards me and I sensed that she wasn't in the mood for transcending attachments. Tossing a long strand of her raven black hair back away from her face in a gesture defying the warm breeze that that blew it there, I could tell she was cumin onto me like curry on rice.
"Is that a Bodhi tree you're sitting under, or are you just happy to see me?"
"Stop kidding around, Yasi. I'm not in that world."
But I didn't mean it. And she knew it. Her third eye could always see right through my bullskrit.
"You know what they say", she said, "when Gotama's away..."
"Wait. Don't tell me," I said. "He doesn't understand your desires. Spare me. I've heard it all before in a previous life time."
She threw her head back with a laugh that was both maniacal, angry, and sexy. Both those things.
"Ha! Just the opposite. He understands me too well. He understands everything. And I'm sick of it! Do you hear me? Sick of it!"
When she sat down next to me, I knew my mud pie was cooked.
"Don't get me wrong. I like a wise guy. As long as he knows how to use his wisdom. Do you know how to use it? Do you?"
She was so close to me I couldn't tell which ear she was whispering into. One thing I knew for sure. This path I was on was going to land me in a lower world and it wasn't Tierra del Fuego.
"Come on Shariputra, show me your Treasure Tower!" When we fell into each others arms, we just kept on falling. And they call me smart! How dumb can a sap get?

TUG OF WAR

My dog Celie was outside this morning when I started to chant. I could hear her come through the doggie door and back into the house. It’s a straight 60-foot shot down a hallway from there to where I sit. And I could see my little black speed racer, who I’ll match with any dog for a 60-foot race, tearing down the tile towards me with her tug of war toy in her mouth. She’s become part of my ritual. Or we’ve become part of each other’s. There are always a couple of forgotten dog items around my chair, which I pick up daily just like I used to do with my toddler children. But for the first five minutes of each morning and evening’s chant, I play tug of war with Celie. Then I play tug of war with myself. For everyday morning and evening when I chant I ask myself this: if my daily actions are predicated on my beliefs, then what do I believe and why do I believe what I believe.

I feel very appreciative to have the opportunity to ask those questions and a place to ask them. I feel even more appreciative to have a reason to ask them. Occasionally I conjure up a memory of an action, something I did or said or didn’t do or didn’t say, and find myself incredulous that I once believed that whatever it was, was without consequences. That I wasn’t responsible. That I was entitled. That I was justified. So I make a little vow to myself to try and not be repetitive and forgive myself. This requires patience. And I find the energy I need to keep on keeping on through my Buddhist practice and the support of my friends and the fellowship of others, Buddhist and otherwise.

I consider myself aligned to the SGI. There are those who therefore think I will practice and behave like how they believe an SGI member will practice and behave. And there are those in the SGI who don't think I'm a proper member if I don't practice and behave like they do. I practice Buddhism like an atheist. Well,…as close as can be done for someone who sits in front of an altar twice a day that is, LOL! Probably an incorrect analogy. Perhaps a better way to describe it would be "a healthy skeptic trying not to become a cynic". I try to keep any cult-ture out of my practice and this is reflected, or in this case not reflected on my altar: no water, incense, candles, greens, etc. There is an occasional note to myself, but that’s subjective, not cultural. Don’t use beads. Don’t genuflect to the Gohonzon when coming or going. In other words, most of the indicative actions of what someone else might consider propriety, I consider superfluous by the very quality of being indicative. The vow that I make daily to this external manifestation of my potential enlightened condition should suffice for it is already all that I am or can be. I guess I just don't want any religion in my religion. Tug of war. To put that all into one figure of speech, I don't need the beads. And I don’t begrudge those who need the beads when they use the beads. And I try to show the same patience to them as I do to myself if they take exception to my actions which are based upon my beliefs that have changed with time, experience, and the insight afforded to me by contemplating my life on a daily basis.