Over the last 8 months, I found myself returning to 12 step meetings...
Yup, 17 years plus clean and sober and still going to those dang meetings. It may seem odd being a Buddhist (not praying for things outside of oneself) and attending 12 step recovery meetings that focus on getting out of self, turning over one's will and finding a power greater than oneself. It's one of those conundrums that defines me.
I converted to Nichiren Buddhism after the first 18 months of recovery. A Christian concept of a higher power was not working for this Diva. I needed to find a religious philosophy that would help me find a conscious connection to the universe rather than to an individual deity. I also had trouble buying the concept of "God's will"-- too much like fatalism to me (the statement "it's my karma" has that same fatalistic tone to me). The Lotus Sutra seemed positively revolutionary to me, presenting me with a world view that would empower me to challenge myself and my environment. Chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo enabled me to "work my steps" (doing personal inventory, looking at my shortcomings, making amends and continuing a spiritual journey).
I have spent most of my recovery and Buddhist practice living away from "the Center" of the organization. Most recently I have faced major physical, emotional and spiritual obstacles that forced me to look beyond the SGI. I continue with my Buddhist practice but have also needed to return to "live" 12 step meetings. Although I have been connected to other "recovering Buddhists" via the Internet, there are none locally.
So I return to AA for the comraderie, remembering what it was like (a whole 'nuther story), what kinds of conscious choices I need to make to stay sane and sober on a daily basis. Now I am even thinking of returning to Alanon (the fellowship for friends and family members of alcoholics). Looking for helpful information and support in every venue.
Dr. Mimi