My son and I attended the local Juneteenth celebration. Juneteenth (celebrated around June 19th) commemorates the day that slaves in Texas found out they were actually free. The Emancipation Proclamation was proclaimed about 2 1/2 years prior to the news getting to Texas. It's a holiday observed primarily in the southwest and western US African American communities.
For me, Juneteenth eclipses July 4th. Yes, Independence Day celebrates the birth of the United States, however my ancestors didn't have recognition as human beings at the time. It's part of that historical contradiction that underlies much of the racial challenges we face today in the US.
In the 50 years since the Brown Supreme Court decision (the initial case on desegregating schools), our country has been in much turmoil. As we become increasingly more diverse, I don't think this will soon abate.
As an African American woman who practices Buddhism, it is a daily challenge to reconcile my diverse life experiences. I am hardly part of the African American Community mainstream. I practice in a faith tradition where there is great conflict among various Nichiren sects. I live in a community where I am definitely a minority (politically progressive, person of color and educated- each of those aspects make me an outlyer where I live).
However it is because of those contradictions that I stay in my community, continue to chant and do my best to make my contribution on a daily basis. I do my best to teach my son about his heritage (both US African American and Horn of Africa) and expose him to the cultural richness of the diverse people around him.
From my childhood to my young adulthood, I was a witness and participant in the Civil Rights and Black Power movements. My parents are a living legacy of their struggles for equality and justice throughout their lives. I build on that base to expand my worldview and model myself as a world citizen.
Caught between the Baby Boomer and Hip Hop Generations...
Snapping to my own beat,
Dr. Mimi
Today was the last day of first grade for my son. This might seem like a tiny milestone. However the beginning of my son's year was pure hell.
He was enrolled in a magnet school based upon the "open plan" model for kindergarten and the beginning of first grade. Imagine a school that was designed to create a "positive learning environment that embraces peace, diversity and non traditional learning." Visualize the reality that the school was the place of racial taunting and profiling, incapable of coping with any children with very dark skin. The ironic aspect was that this was the school that most of the children in local SGI district attended. Even more ironic was that one of the parents involved in the racial targetting was a member. I knew it was time to transfer schools when the White parents protested that one of their children had consequences for making racist statements (as in "my mother told me I cannot play with any dark children"). This combined with my being entangled in a child protective services issue (a family reported for suspected abuse and neglect) with a family from the district made my child's life at his school daily hell. On top of that I had a parent from my practice who had threatened to kill me, which created a whole new meaning for "security problem."
So my very special boy hated school when he transferred to his new school.The school superintendent found a "place for him" at the number one school in the county. The School District including the School Board were acutely aware that I had the basis for a racial harassment suit. I had exhausted all recourse within the school (working daily with the teachers and principals) before I presented to them that I was in the process of retaining an attorney. It didn't help their case that all these things were happening to the child of a pediatrician who was very active in the community.
I realized I made the right decision when within a two week period he could demonstrate a third grade reading level. As a carry over from the old school, he was also being tested for "special needs." After the testing, it was very clear to everyone (his new teacher especially) that he was a gifted child.
He had the incredible fortune of having the best first grade teacher for him. Someone who clearly kept him busy and engaged. A teacher whose class had a variety of ability levels (some of the children were also mainstreamed hearing impaired students) but treated them ALL as gifted. She brought excitement to learning through of myriad of special projects. Homework (even spelling tests) became a joy instead of a chore for my son. On top of this she was undergoing treatment for her THIRD recurrance of cancer and worked daily with severe chronic pain (an indomitable spirit that would make most of us look like slackers and whiners). She allowed me to participate weekly, teaching an African Caribbean dance class. The kids loved it. Whenever I missed (for vacation, or more recently due to injury), they would ask me when I would come back.
I learned a lot from this year. I learned how to become my son's advocate and stay active in his school. We have also discovered Tae Kwon Do, which has helped both of us feel more secure (along with some other arrangements).
Sadly, I have learned that for my wellbeing and that of my son, participating in my district is not a possiblity. The racism and intolerance is too upfront and personal for now. The contradictions of people saying that they practice a philosophy that embraces diversity and peace but employ death threats (members threatening bodily harm to leaders) and have no willingness to confront their racism is too much for me. My district (and higher up) leaders just couldn't understand why I wouldn't welcome a person into my home who made violent threats (especially when the threat was directly related to actions I took as a pediatrician). I look for nurturing and positive people and places for my son and I. We have an incredible group of friends who have embraced us over the years in ways that Central Valley SGI member or leader ever has.
Stand alone spirit is my life. As I teach my son Gongyo, chant with him, I hope he will see the value of Nichiren Buddhism. These days he reads to me excerpts from the Gosho (a Children's excerpt book called, Buddhist Treasures). He is definitely a hard sell-- not yet convinced that the practice has value (especially in the lives of the members he has met). But he's the guy that makes sure we do Sansho.
Poison into medicine. My life in a nutshell.
This weekend is my 30th year high school reunion. Hot flashes are starting with a vengence.
Time has a way of creeping up and smacking me upside my head. I have doing a bit of pining about days gone by. I find myself turning to old school and R and B stations for music I can actually understand. I roll my eyes when I open my patient's mouths and see tongue piercing (and we won't even mention my response to some other more delicate body piercings). I have never gotten those baggy pants combined with those belly showing tops.
Dang it, I'm middle aged and entering, gasp, menopause! The only catch is that instead of seeing my kid off to college, my son is just entering the second grade. I have to stay on the good foot to keep up with him. I look about 10 years younger than my chronological age. Some days however I feel about 10 years older. I graduated from high school at 16 (as with most of my classmates), so y'all can do the math.
So much of my time is doing all the things most single working mommas have to do. It is a full time job just doing the mom part let alone filling in on daddy duties and working a profession where part time work means 40 hours a week (I don't work part time).
Yea, it sounds like I am whining but actually I am very grateful. It's amazing what seeing a large orange semi truck driving over the front end of your car can do for one's attitude. Just another attention getter that I don't have to solve all the world's problems, be the perfect mom or have my son in multiple after school activities.
So the last week or so, I have had the chance to take a bit of a breather. Enough time to stop and enjoy the flowers in my garden, take my dog on a real walk, make volcanoes with my son (I'm helping him find his inner geek).
Enjoying each day. Not missing Disco or polyester (much).