Sounds like a cliche from the 12-step world cause it is. I found my recovery first then found Nam Myoho Renge Kyo via another person in recovery at the end of a meeting. It was a delicious moment as a family friend had tried to Shakabuku me 11 years before. I wasn't interested, had too much studying and partying to do. Besides with my left politics I didn't think I would fit in (waving flags and wearing Betsy Ross dresses were not my style).
By the time I recieved Gohonzon, I was quite ready for a new spiritual adventure. Praying to a higher power that wasn't to whom it may concern was a relief. I also valued that fact the this "higher power" could come from within rather than some big Daddy or Mama in the sky. Having way too much brain chatter, I was not a candidate for sitting meditation. The sound of Daimoku had the wonderful effect of shutting down the noise.
The last 16 years of Buddhist practice has not been the most mellow. My life has had many peaks and valleys and a whole lot of strangeness. I've practiced in places with people I would otherwise never encounter. Yet these people had so many of the same issues as myself and my family. There have been many times that I have sought out "outside" spiritual life (such as my 12-step family and connection to people from other spiritual and religious tradtions).
I've tried being the "good little Buddhist" following all the "organizational rules." It worked for a time but my mouth and mind have managed to bring controversy to many aspects of my Buddhist practice. As my practice developed my ability to question also grew. Time for me to use my mind and not follow blindly.
At times I feel that the SGI is at some cross roads. The last 14 years have been filled with many dramas, many changes in the organization. Some I have celebrated such as the opening up of the organization re the GBLT community, the acknowledgement of racism in the organization, the drive toward ecumenism (to a degree). However I live in an outlying area where some of these "new ideas" have not fully taken root.
Lately though, I not sure what is going on. There seems to be a hard press push to do Shakabuku. And now it is May contribution time. I get a tad nervous when someone is reaching so hard for my purse strings. I believe in charitable giving and supporting causes (and I have contributed a considerable amount of money to SGI-USA and many other charitable organizations). However I like to know where my money really is going to.
So this Buddhist is spending more time chanting Daimoku with small groups of people. Big meetings are not my thing for now. I read the publications consistently but I ask more "why is it so" questions.
It's not a lack of sincere faith or committment. I am an active participant in my community and do not hide my Buddhist practice. These days, I am taking what I need and leaving the rest.
Three snaps before Gongyo and Tae Kwon Do class,
Dr. Mimi
Mimi,
Of course donations are Karma. Karma is any thought, word, or deed. You think about how much money you are going to give (karma), you take the action to donate (karma) to an organization that will continue to engage in all the activities that you wish to leave behind. Your donations are in fact the karma that keeps the organization the way it is. You don't get the option of just donating to support those things that you like about the SGI, you are supporting all that you wish to leave behind as well. I would suggest that you do not donate the money in this way, but offer your time, effort, and perhaps some money (outside of general Gokuyo) to directly support only what you see as noble and correct in the organization.
Rev. Rob
Posted by: Rev. Rob at April 22, 2004 07:44 AMMimi,
I like your take on this. . .and this is what I try to do myself. . .take what I need (and there is a lot that I like & need from SGI), and leave the rest.
But this opens up another issue. . .My other conflict comes with Shakabuku. . .I tell my friends about Buddhism and Nichiren Buddhism. . .but because of the "rest" that I prefer not to buy into with the organization. . .I find it difficult to really promote SGI to others.
Not wanting them to feel like I have bought the whole package.
So at times I feel like maybe I should look at other options. . .but in the area I live, there aren't any! And being totally independent, at least at this point, seems like an easy way to get lost. ;-)
I too give a bit of money to SGI each month as well as other orgaizations that promote animal issues, etc. . .but I still don't understand why May is also set aside as a big fund raising month when most members probably do give monthly.
We get the typical speech that it "keeps the lights on". . .but I live in a city that doesn't even have a center. If it did, and I could see the money being put to use. . .maybe I would give more.
Last year, we had a leader come to town and "suggest" that an individual goal should be $10,000.00 a year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I had that kind of money to give to a charity. . .I would give it to one that discloses where the money goes. . .so I could really see the money going to good use. Ok. . .just babbling now. ;-)
I don't think I'm being too cynical because I feel a major organization (Even SGI)should not just say. . .give money, trust us. . .we're the one true Buddhist organization and we're working towards peace. . .so dig deep. . .but they should be more than willing to share exactly where all these thousands are going.
I'm not a penny pincher. . .and more than willing to give to someone in need. . .but I'm also not an idiot. ;-)
Monetary donations as karma...now that is an interesting concept.
If you mean that the money ties me to the organization- yes that is true. I choose to continue as a member of SGI-USA.
That does not mean that my brain has been wiped and I am unable to think for myself. I can choose the activities I participate in, the people I chant with, the material I want to study. My membership is on my terms, I get to set the parameters.
Dr. Mimi
Posted by: Dr. Mimi at April 21, 2004 03:50 PMMy opinion is that there really is no way for you to "leave the rest" as long as you keep giving the SGI money. Your donations themselves are the karma that keeps the things you are trying to "leave behind" in your life.
Rev. Rob
Posted by: Rev. Rob at April 21, 2004 12:31 PM