Dr. Mimi - The Snap Diva Sings

Chanting with Children

Another morning Gongyo, the dog is barking, my son is asking for things about every 5th page. I'm thinking to myself- why didn't I wake up just that hour earlier (at 5 am) to beat the am rush in my house? Another day in Dr. Mimi's house.

Before child (and dog), Gongyo wasn't so hard to get done. Yes, I was YWD and also a resident in Pediatrics. Didn't seem like much of a struggle to work 100 hours a week and do Byakuren. I did Gongyo and Daimoku on call in my call room, empty patient rooms. Sometimes the nurses would even ask me, "Did you do Gongyo yet?" Just as they made sure I ate, they also noticed I was a much nicer person after some Daimoku.

It all changed with being pregnant with my son. I spent part of the first trimester horizontal and sick due to bleeding. Chanting on one's side is definitely a mind bending experience. Then the little bugger tried to deliver at 6 months and I was put on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy. I was determined to have the healthiest baby possible and chanted what seemed like a skazillion Daimoku. Sure enough, number one son came out with eyes open and ready for action at term.

I suddenly realized all the really stupid guidance I gave to my parents about childcare before having a child. Having a child is like a second pediatric residency that never ends. I knew I had a keeper when he would hum along with Daimoku. He seemed to want me to chant all the time (that is when I wasn't nursing him)

Then he learned to walk at 10 months, flip off the couch at a year and climb up the door jam soon there after. Something about chanting with a moving target became quite the challenge. This was not a placid, stay in a play pen baby. Doing all this as a single mom (since the 6th week of pregnancy) made all this Buddhist practice quite the challenge. Going to meetings and actually being able to stay in the room was a struggle (forget actually participating or hearing anything).
Much of year 1 to year 5 was a blur to me. I do remember those peaceful moments when my son was alseep, I was awake and could chant. I also remember those moments when he would actually chant with me. Sometimes he would also INSIST that we went to a meeting (despite the active behavior during the meeting).
My son has gone through times when he has had many deep questions about Buddhism. He's not all that convinced that chanting works- yes he got the dog BUT his dad is not in his life (two things he has chanted about for years). He has been surrounded by Christians who have told him he was going to hell if he didn't believe in Jesus. He also went through a period last year when he decided (at 6) that he needed to become Jewish. Even gave Mama a Star of David Necklace for Christmas (now that is a whole nother story).
Now he insists that we do Sansho together. At times he'll try to recite part of the sutra or chant. His timing has improved asking for things (as in Mama I am STARVING, I NEED something to eat even though I ask him before sitting down if he would like anything). I can get through Gongyo and some Daimoku before the requests come. Even the dog knows that he has to wait until the bell rings before making the doggy requests.

So the goal the night before is to plan to wake up at least an hour before the circus starts. Sometimes that happens when I don't get paged through the night. Othertimes it's one of those "do your best days."

Have a child. Definitely a fast way to learn about patience and love.

Three snaps from the hospital computer...

Dr. Mimi

Posted by drmimi at April 7, 2004 10:05 AM