Queen Lolo
March 2005
Questioning the Gohonzon
I have a Buddhist altar in my bedroom.
It has three shelves. The top one holds my Gohonzon. The second has my bell, incense, candles, and an origami of two cranes that was handed to me by a carnival mime who pointed at me and my husband as she made the little birds “kiss” each other. The third shelf has misc. items of spiritual relevance, including a framed “Don’t Give Up” penned by my then 4-year old daughter.
I enjoy my altar. I look at it often during the day. It serves to focus and inspire me.
But I have a confession to make.
I rarely sit in front of it and chant.
In his blog on this site, Rev. Ryuei writes, “Ultimate reality is something that is always present to us whether we are aware of it or not. So the question should not be - how can I acquire a paper scroll or an appropriate statue arrangement so that I can be awake… Rather, we should ask how we can simply be awake in each moment?”
Personally, I feel more “awake” walking in nature than I do sitting in front of my altar. I’ve had my Gohonzon for several years, and the truth is, I don’t quite get it. I feel more present and connected while playing with my kids, petting my dog, or peeling an orange. The flowers I encounter while on my walks wake me up to the wonder of existence far more than a paper scroll ever could.
Don’t get me wrong. I love to chant the Odaimoku and meditate and study Buddhist writings. I just haven’t been able to connect with the Gohonzon. Maybe I’m missing something... Then again, maybe not.
Please know that I did give it a good try. And I haven’t given up yet. When I first encountered Nichiren Buddhism, I did it as my friends at the SGI instructed. I sat in front of Gohonzon twice a day. I tried to grasp it’s meaning. I tried to not grasp it’s meaning. In either case, I did experienced “benefits.” I even liked going to the monthly discussion meetings. After decades of solitary study and practice, I was thrilled to finally have a sangha. But after the initial zing wore off, I realized something didn’t seem authentic to me. It didn’t quite feel “Buddhist” to me. My seeking spirit didn't feel there was enough genuine Buddhist seeking going on. And I grew uncomfortable with being told, however gently, that there was a “right” way to do things and I needed to make a few corrections in my approach.
Yet I still have my Gohonzon enshrined and my altar is dusted and cherished. But for now, it serves more as a reminder of my Buddhist faith than as a focal point of my actual practice. Perhaps some readers can shed some light on this subject, or share their experiences....
Now off to take a walk so I can wake up and smell the roses! (Or smell the roses and wake up, as the case may be.)
Blessings,
Queen Lolo