Queen Lolo
May 12, 2005
I took down my SGI Gohonzon today.
(No lightening bolts so far….)
I rolled it up and put in the box it came in and put it in a drawer where I keep special things.
(No thunder storms or knocks at the door yet…)
I replaced it with a representation of the Buddha, beautifully embroidered in cloth on a small purse, thoughtfully given to me by my beautiful sister for my birthday this year.
(No earthquakes or even heart palpitations.)
I have had my Gohonzon for awhile now. I gave it my best shot. I like chanting, I enjoy the practice as taught to me by the SGI. This wasn’t an anti-SGI move.
It was me being true to myself. Try as I might, the Gohonzon doesn’t do anything for me. I don’t do anything for it. We just sit there awkwardly staring at one another, the Gohonzon and I, like two mismatched singles on a terrible blind date.
In writing about how to set up a “puja table” which is similar to an altar, Ram Dass says, “In developing an inner Center, a meditative stance, or connecting with your heart cave, it is most useful to create an external quiet space where you can hook up for refueling. When setting up the puja table, choose a quiet place, a place that can be a refuge. You come home feeling speedy, you’re angry at someone – or whatever – sit down in front of the puja table and Remember.Typically, pictures of holy beings, statues, flowers, fruit, beautiful stones or shells, or things which you associate with the highest place in yourself, are put on a puja table….”
This is how I believe an altar should function, too. So today I replaced my Gohonzon with a depiction of the Buddha that touches my heart. I may later replace it with something else. Maybe a small painting of White Tara. Maybe a photograph of a flower, taken by my daughter. Maybe I’ll even put the Gohonzon back at some point. I like to change things around. Shake up my mind. Wake myself up.
But what wakes me up up may not be what wakes you up at all. (My teenager said if she had an altar, it would have a photograph of Chad Michael Murray, a celebrity hottie.) What centers me, focuses me, reminds me of the truth of existence (or at least of my faith in such), is something only I can decide. And since my ultimate challenge and purpose is to trust myself and have faith in my own path, creating a meaningful altar is a really big deal.
Then again, it’s no big deal at all.