Queen Lolo
August 06, 2005
I just finished a one-week acting camp at Santa Monica Playhouse with my 8 year old daughter. As a child, I didn’t like camp and I did ZERO acting. But as they say, “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” And as a writer, I am always on the look-out for opportunities to shake up my insides, wake up my brain cells, and scare myself silly.
So I took a deep breath and signed up as the oldest “kid” in this exchange program with 13 students from the Los Angeles theater and 14 students from their Tokyo “sister” school, The Model Language Studio.
We spent five intensive days under the direction of Chris DeCarlo, a wonderful, witty, and passionately creative man, who brilliantly communicated and directed this conceptual experience to an unlikely ensemble that ranged from age 7 to adult, spoke two different languages, and spanned three generations.
Our musical performance piece was about a treasure hunt, with three teams searching for their deepest desires. One the second day of camp, Chris asked us each to craft a sentence about what we wanted most in life. Was it more money? Was it fame? Was it entertainment and fun?
That evening, I gave the question a great deal of thought. What makes me happy? What gives me the most satisfaction? Is it my family? It is creative expression? Is it good health? Is it changing the world? Is it losing that extra 5 pounds?
I realized that while all those are important to me, they are all worthless without one very specific thing:
An inner feeling of appreciation.
I’m not talking about the sentiment of appreciation. I’m talking about an inner experience of appreciation. Without it, I’m just a hamster on a wheel, running in circles, accumulating this and that. But when life is filtered through the sweet lens of appreciation, I can have nothing more than my own inhale and my exhale, and be the happiest camper on earth. Just like Nichiren on Sato Island.
Blanche Hartman, the former abbess of the San Francisco Zen Center, writes, “You know, if you just think about it a moment, it's simply awesomely, amazingly wonderful just to be alive! Just to be alive is awesome. It's a wonderful gift, and especially on a beautiful spring day like this. But you know, it took me a lot of years of meditation practice, and a heart attack, before I really got it that just to be alive is awesome. As I was walking out of the hospital having survived a heart attack about eleven years ago now, I had this thought: "Wow! I could be dead. The rest of my life is just a gift." And then I thought: "Well, it always has been a gift from the very beginning and I never noticed it until it was almost gone." I think that is true of many of us, that we don't notice what a gift it is just to be alive.”
The question is, HOW can we live with appreciation so that we CAN notice the gift of being alive?
Would you believe I found some answers – not at a Buddhist retreat, but at a local acting camp for kids? The very first day, Chris taught us five aspects to bring to our acting:
1. Energy and enthusiasm. Approach every moment as fresh and new. Bring all your aliveness and being to each and every scene.
2. Focus and concentration. Pay attention. Be in the moment. Stay present. Don’t let your mind and energy wander from what you are involved in.
3. Commitment. Go for it. Don’t be afraid of mistakes; in fact, if you make them, make them BIG! Being right isn’t what matters. Expressing your heart is what counts. You don’t have to be brilliant -- you just have to be YOU.
4. Be safe. Don’t do anything that feels unsafe or immoral. Don't hurt yourself or anyone else.
5. Trust and respect. We’re all in this together. Have trust and show respect for those around you. Make the space safe for everyone.
These were all tips for acting. But they also guided me in appreciating my week at camp in a deeper, spiritual context. The camp felt like my own, secret, personal Buddhist intensive, with every moment a chance to cultivate awareness, presence, and, especially, appreciation.
In fact, one of the most pertinent lessons was the one on BOWING. “When you take your bow at the end of a show, you are not saying LOOK HOW GREAT I WAS! You are bowing in appreciation for the audience's time and attention."
Something else happened at camp, something far greater than my own personal Buddhist trip. You see, the Japanese students attend a school in Tokyo that uses acting to teach English, and this was part of their educational program. English-speakers also committed to learning a few lines in Japanese. (I struggled all week just to learn one line in Japanese, which ironically was “Money is the greatest treasure!”) Because (and in spite) of this underlying challenge, everyone worked together with tender compassion and tremendous trust, patience, and understanding. The Santa Monica Playhouse students helped the exchange students pronounce their lines, and the exchange students helped us with our Japanese. There wasn't a second of judgement, ridicule, or impatience. A warm hug, a reassuring back rub, a friendly smile, a "thumbs up" often had to take the place of the spoken word. But it all worked. By the end of one, short, action-packed week, we had become an international community of actors, crying and hugging as we said our goodbyes after the final performance.
In the end, our show delivered the message that life's true treasure isn't something to search for. It's right here where we stand, in the friendships we already have. It was the theme of the play, and the actual reality of the camp experience. It was pretty darn amazing.
All of life's a stage...
I guess it's really true. The lessons that apply to theater, apply to regular daily life as well. And certainly to my Buddhist practice. By following the 5 keys to acting, our little group created more than just a show. We cultivated a supportive atmosphere of warmth, friendship, and appreciation, treasures worth more than all the Manolo Blahnik shoes in Neiman's. The bonds made at camp were a direct result of all us all putting in our best effort, which involves every one of the 5 keys to acting. Energy and enthusiasm; focus and concentration; commitment; safety; and trust. It worked for our performance, it worked for our friendships, and I know it works in daily life and practice, too.
The night camp ended, I found the following quote by Suzuki Roshi, mentioned in an article by Blanche Hartman in Shambhala Sun magazine: “Zen is making your best effort on each moment… forever." I guess that just about sums things up. The whole week at camp, all the lessons learned, this whole article, and the answer to the question, "HOW can we live with appreciation so that we CAN notice the gift of being alive? " Everything that goes into making your best effort can help cultivate a feeling of appreciation for the greatest treasure of all: Your life itself.
(Queen Lolo bows in appreciation for your time and interest.)