Queen Lolo
December 08, 2005
Have you ever noticed that when you start or amp up your chanting, the shit hits the fan?
What is it with that?
“Chanting brings out your karma,” they tell me.
You better watch out, you better not cry…”
I’m not a disciplined chanter. I don’t do it with any type of regularity. But when I do, stuff happens.
“Congratulations!” they say, “Your karma is up! Keep chanting and you will change it forever!”
Is it really the chanting that does it? Is daimoku some kind of spiritual laxative?
“Keep chanting to turn this poison into medicine!” they say.
Do not exceed daily recommended dose. May cause complete upheaval of life as you’ve known it…
Question: Is it really the chanting that got the shit to take aim and FIRE?
Question: Is it really “karma” that’s coming up?
When you think about it, the reason I amp up the daimoku is that I’m feeling stuck. Or feeling uneasy. Or feeling downright miserable. Maybe any change in daily routine or thought pattern would allow the space for the chaos to begin. Maybe it’s not the chanting. Maybe doing the hokey pokey twice a day would move things along just as well.
And maybe it’s not karma that’s surfacing. Maybe it’s just dumb old emotional baggage that we all drag around till death do us part. Sometimes we see it, and sometimes we don’t.
I don’t know the answer to any of these questions. But I suppose it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that when I’m feeling stuck and I increase my chanting, things change. They usually get worse. And yes, I say that like it’s a good thing.
Turmoil may not feel cozy at the time, but it’s sure seems to a necessary ingredient in personal growth, at least for me. And especially when things haven’t been working too well for a very long time, but I’ve been holding on for dear life. That’s when it takes a cosmic whack on the side of my head to force me to open my clutched fists and JUST DROP IT.
Surrender Dorothy!
You see, my personal human revolution isn’t about digging in my heels and winning the battle. I’ve never related to the “fighting spirit” encouraged by President Ikeda. I don't view life as a battle. (Is that a difference between women and men?)
What works for me is to notice when I’m stuck, do a little chanting, pay attention to what comes along, and then trust myself to act on the right opportunities.
It feels more like a letting go than a feeling of feisty determination. But it’s not a “giving up” kind of thing. It’s reconnecting to my faith in the cosmic forces and to life itself. It’s like climbing to the top of a very beautiful, high cliff, opening my arms wide, and feeling completely safe because I’ve already fallen and survived.
It's not about winning any war. It's about aligning with what's right and true for me.
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