Turning back a several chapters in this adventure I call my life, I recall meeting with my girlfriend, picking her up from a yoga class. She was excited, having just learned about the four sufferings during her class. The instructor was teaching them an exercise intended to help the students free themselves by letting go of their attachments. Exactly what this has to do with yoga, I don’t know.
My friend’s enthusiasm was irrepressible, undeterred by my dismissal of the concept as she related it to me. My thought was, and remains, that attachments are not the cause of suffering; rather it is the nature of the attachments that can cause suffering.
Nonetheless, she insisted that I take part in the exercise. She told me to invite her to get into the car, but to try and make her believe that I was not attached to whether she did or not. I agreed.
I gathered myself, pulled up my best Jack Web, Dragnet, Sergeant Friday deadpan voice and demeanor, stared directly, steadily, and dispassionately into her eyes and said, “Get into the car or don’t get into the car, it doesn’t make any difference to me either way.”
In two seconds I witnessed the expression on her face go from joyful enthusiasm to disbelief and sadness, and she said in a very small voice, “That was very good. You really made me believe you didn’t care either way.”
I asked, “Do you know why I was able to convince you that I wasn’t attached to whether you got into the car or not?” “No, why?” she hurtfully replied. “It was because I was attached to making you believe that I wasn’t attached to whether you got into the car or not. I could not have succeeded had I not been attached to the outcome”, I answered with a warm smile, and said, “Now, will you please get in? I am attached to the outcome” as I opened the car door and made a sweeping gesture for her to get in.
Her sadness was quickly replaced by a laugh and a smile as she got into the car. Because of the romantic nature of our relationship, it seems that she, too, was attached to the outcome.
There are many kinds of attachments. For me, learning to not base my happiness on my relationships with other people was a key that unlocked a wealth of relationships. It isn’t that I broke my attachment to relationships. Rather, I broke my selfish attachments to my relationships with others. Successful relationships are not all about me, nor are they all about you.
There are deluded attachments and desires, and enlightened ones. Attachments and desires are not always the causes of suffering, but selfish ones are. I am reminded of the enlightened attachment and desire of the Buddha of the Juryo Chapter:
“At all times I think to myself:
How can I cause living beings
to gain entry into the unsurpassed way
and quickly acquire the body of a Buddha? “
My own constant thought is “How do we create unity?”--Which amounts to the same, and I am attached to the outcome.
There are times to be attached to life, and times to desire death. I find that true unity exists in just rolling on the river of life and manifesting the wisdom appropriate to the circumstances of the present moment.
Posted by chikushonin at March 27, 2005 07:39 PMDear Mike,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I must apologize. I did not intend to delete you comments. I am very sorry. My bad.
Posted by: chikushonin 智倶諸人 at March 30, 2005 07:45 PMDear Mike,
Whether the translation is rendered as “quickly acquire the body of a Buddha”, “become partakers of the Buddha-laws”, “quickly become Buddhas”, or “quickly attain Buddhahood”, all these translations seem to convey approximately the same meaning.
Fortunately the Kumarajiva translation is still available so we can check the renderings ourselves.
More importantly there is the kanjin no honzon where we can understand directly, without the need for a translator. Well, at least this my experience...
Posted by: chikushonin 智倶諸人 at March 30, 2005 07:48 PM