I originally wrote this for a home education publication. But it occurred to me how much it relates to Buddhism as well. When I first started studying eastern religion, it was still considered quite "counterculture." Only a few new age bookstores in Los Angeles had books, tapes, and other merchandise relating to the topic. I remember wanting a small sterling silver Buddha charm to wear around my neck, and having to sweetalk someone into bringing me one back from Japan. (My cousin went to India and brought me a Buddha silk painting, bless her soul!)
Today, even Target has t-shirts with our main man on the front! And one of my favorite Buddha statues came from Ross, a local offprice discount store.
So it seems indeed that the times they are a changin'. And this piece I wrote about homeschooling just might resonate with something inside of you in terms of your practice, too....
The Times They Are A' Changing
When I first decided to homeschool my daughter ten years ago, it felt like a huge and rather lonely decision. It was 1995, and here in Los Angeles, homeschooling still had a slightly subversive ring to it. Those who questioned me were usually skeptical or outright indignant. In fact, once they established that (1) I was not doing it for religious reasons, and (2) I was not a counterculture hippie feeding my kids nothing but sprouts and organic seaweed, most assumed I was either an accredited teacher (I’m not), or a thoughtless risk taker putting her childrens’ future on the line. I’m sure family and friends figured it was just a passing phase I’d outgrow once I realized the insanity of juggling a full-time writing career and a full-time child at home.
Little did they know I had just as many doubts myself…
You see, I was basically a mainstream, metropolitan working woman. Sure, I read “Mothering” magazine, sure I breastfed and carried my babies in a Dr. Sear’s baby-sling like a living, breathing, piece of performance-art jewelry. But I lived and moved in an urban world where every morning, sleepy moms in SUVs with Starbucks in their cup-holders lined up at the curbs of local preschools to unload their toddlers into the welcoming arms of perky, pony-tailed Miss Annie, or Miss Emily, or Miss So-and-So who would happily sing “Little Bunny Foo Foo” at circle time and patiently wipe every runny nose before lunch.
That’s just how it was meant to be. Or so I thought…
My creative, self-determined four-year-old had other ideas. She had no interest in circle time, no interest in pasting raw macaroni onto animal shaped construction paper, no interest in napping on a blue vinyl mat. My daughter had her own ideas about how to spend each day. She liked being at home with me. She liked eating when and what she chose, doing craft projects that came from her own imagination, and following her own rhythm.
My daughter marched to her own drummer, and “Little Bunny Foo Foo” was not on the playlist.
So instead of schlepping her to visit and sample any more preschools, I decided to pick my battles and save my afternoons (not to mention those hefty preschool fees) and instead, do my writing in the morning and take her to the park in the afternoons. This is how I met a group of innovative parents who, for one reason or another, had already decided not to send their kids to school. None of them were teachers, none were wearing tie dye t-shirts or Birkenstocks, and none were homeschooling for religious reasons.
But they all shared a passionate knowing that the conventional route of public or private school was not the right choice for their children. It was 1995, and homeschooling was still “The Road Not Taken.” But something inside these courageous parents inspired them to take a leap of faith and go down the less traveled road of home education.
As we pushed our kids on the swings and made pretend “birthday cakes” in the sand with our wee ones, that same passionate knowing woke up inside of me, too. I had no idea how I’d make it work. But that was over ten years ago, and we’re still doing it. Yes, homeschooling has definitely required a lot of creative juggling, exploration, and cooperation in our family. But the payoff has been worth every second of sacrifice.
Today, my “preschooler” is in high school, still educated at home, and still happy with homeschooling and with me. She’s a singer, an actress, an entrepreneur, and has a wide social circle of wonderful and interesting friends. Her younger sister is going into 5th grade, also at home, and also completely onboard.
As for me, I’m happy to say the journey isn’t so lonely anymore. Today, when I tell people my kids are enrolled in an independent study program, nine times out ten they say, “Oh, you homeschool!” They get it, right off the bat, and usually rattle off a list of friends, acquaintances, family members, neighbors, and celebrities they know of who are also educated outside the conventional system. “Hey, did you know Lindsay Lohan was homeschooled?” they’ll ask. And I silently thank the tabloids for doing their small part in putting home education on the mainstream map.
I feel hopeful when I think about the change in society’s attitude over the years. Perhaps, over time, even the public schools will replace the standardized, one-size-fits-all competitive approach with the kinder, gentler, more organic methods long employed by home educators. In any case, it’s clear that home education is now viewed as a completely viable option, even among in the most academically-driven circles.
Case in point. Last week, I received an email from my beloved Uncle Larry in Texas. He was one of my biggest critics back in our early days of homeschooling. As a conservative, Ivy-League educated physician, he had no context for understanding our crazy educational lifestyle. Although his questions to me were always couched in “loving concern,” I always pictured one of those cartoon “thought balloons” over his head saying “I hope you realize you’re going to have to support those poor kids for the rest of their lives, my dear!”
Well, last week, I sent him one of my usual “just keeping in touch” emails, not mentioning homeschooling at all, just sharing our family’s latest. He replied, “Congrats for staying with something that you have believed in strongly, even if many of us were doubters and did not agree with you. You have proven that in special situations, with an intelligent and committed parent, home schooling can be successful.”
Thank you, Uncle Larry. Not only did you make my day, you made my entire decade as well. And yes, we want to come visit you soon.
The Road Not Taken, by Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
The took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Through as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how one way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh,
Somewhere ages and ages hence,
Two roads diverged in a wood and I –
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.