A Byrd's Eye View

Byrd and me sometimes had heated discussions but she never held a grudge even when I criticized her and she gave as good as she got. If something interested her she had a seeking spirit as big as the sun and the moon and she taught me about seeking compassion. I miss her alot.

Mark

Byrd was a terrific writer who could convey the humor and human-ness of Buddhism. Her writing was real and personal. In sharing the ordinary details of her life and journey, she illustrated the dharma. Hers was a large, generous spirit. She set an example for us all.

Byrd, thank you for giving us so much.

Lisa J.

I want to be like Byrd when (if) I grow up.

Seriously, she displayed a magnanimity and generousness of spirit that I am in awe of. Where I get mad and want to lash out and get even, she always took everything in stride and tried to seek the good in people. I'm not there, yet, and wonder if I will ever be.

I think that the best thing I can do in this wonderful woman's memory is to try to enact even a little bit of her spirit in my own life. She was an example to emulate. She was a mentor worth following.

Thanks for being, Byrd. I'll miss you.

Andy

I did to comment very little on this blog because it was some months ago I discovered it. Other reason is I live outside the USA, and the way The Org. make things is something different in my country, but anyway I came to Byrd's blog daily to look for some new post and read it with much interest. In truth, I did to read all her posts from first to last. So, I did to feel something was wrong when she stayed for so much time without posting. I am sorry so much we had no time for knowing us better. As humans, that will be next life, Sarvamangalam!.

I believe Byrd was a great Bodhisattva. Her comments were always characterized by her human warmth, her generosity and her desire to help others. She also showed great searching spirit, and possessed an admirable willingness to understand other ways of practicing the dharma. She was a great conciliatory.

The Byrd's blog and her life are a great example for the online community, and I really will miss her very much.

I pray that our common masters, Great Sage Nichiren and Shakyamuni Nyorai, bless her with the power to see them in all their glory.

Na Mu Myo Ho Ren Gue Kyo!

Byrd's spirt was ever in keeping with Bdv. Never Disparaging, and in this alone she roared even as her own voice was gentle. Whatever lay beyond the veil, this shining spirit is never born, is never destroyed, but even now moves through us and with us just as it moves with her. She was already blessed by the Eternal Buddha, and now she blesses us.

We miss her because we feel her, and in this, do not miss her at all. And thus we will miss her greatly.

Namu Myoho Renge Kyo

Brian M. McGuire

Whenever I wrote a blog entry, starting a few years ago, I would imagine how Greg and Byrd would react. Would they approve? It was a perfect balance of on-line personalities. I would sharpen things up for Greg, then soften the edges for Byrd. A lot of vague sentences got reworded, and some mean comments were deleted.

I still do that instinctively. Since June, there has been an arrow in my heart, every time I finished a piece and got ready to edit. Now, there are two.

gassho

robin

I was reflecting on Byrd's passing and it got me to thinking about the internet, and the relationships we form here.

The internet is at once ephemeral and eternal. Posts on message boards and blogs grab people's attention for a moment, then they are forgotten. Yet a permanent record exists; even if something is deleted, it probably has been archived somewhere. Our lives are like that.

A fantasy I have is traveling around the country, meeting in person all the people I've met online. Maybe it's naive of me but I consider them all friends, even those I've had an antagonistic relationship with.

I never met Byrd but I am richer for having known her.

Question: Anyone know why she was called Byrd?

Riding on the Tuskers

I doubt she was sad.
I believe she was born up to the Sun by wings
I see her marching round the treasure tower,
Transformed into Gold and Jewels;

I see her sitting on a lotus flower,
I see her riding on a tusker.
I see her listening to heavenly songs,
Accompanied by rumbling drums.

I see her taking her place with the Bodhisattvas of the Earth,
And reunited with loved ones and fellow Bodhisattvas.
And I see myself standing with her, bowing low in praise,
Saying: "Well done my Friend, Well Done!"
While the Buddha sings her praises.

I only hope her family is fine.

Chris

Byrd was one of the most intelligent and intellectually curious people I ever met on line and what is even more extrodinary was that she was also one of the most compassionate and forgiving. She always tried to see the other person's point of view. On many occasions she would email me for clarification or sources on controvercial things I had said. I really wish I could have taken her up on the offer to attend the last gathering of friends. I have to admit that her ability to put up with people and seek to understand them was sometimes annoying when it was directed at other people. She was always willing to help someone, she had true compassion. She could see the big picture. I don't know if there really is such a thing as rebirth but if there is I think that Byrd may already be back. I don't think she would be spending so much time enjoying heaven or blissful oneness but would be back here where the task of working for the enlightenment of all beings goes on.
A little theory on how that might work:

In order to comprehend how physical mortality is understood within the Buddhist tradition, we should probably first turn our attention to the nature of life. The Buddhists tell us that life has three essential characteristics: the presence of the life-faculty, of heat, and of consciousnesses. In terms of the eight consciousnesses of Yogacara Buddhism, the life-faculty is not really separate from the basic or storehouse consciousness, and heat is a characteristic of the body when that consciousness is present. Yet the presence of the life-faculty and heat alone give the impression of living death, for there is no animation, no perceptual functioning, and no sense of an ego-individual.

Those other qualities, which we normally associate with a living being, come from the third characteristic, consciousness. The Yogacara system describes this as the first seven consciousnesses, all of which develop out of the eighth or storehouse consciousness. The seventh consciousness contains the sense of self or of ego-individuality with which it defiles the first six consciousnesses. The sixth consciousness is a perceptual and cognitive processing center, while the first five consciousnesses are the perceptual awarenesses of eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and body.

Although with the emanation of these consciousnesses there is a division into "departments", they are all based upon mental discrimination. The eight consciousnesses are still basically one. To use an analogy, let us think of a room with seven light bulbs. You flick the light switch and seven distinct lights shine. Turn the switch to "off" and the lights disappear. Yet there is just one electric current, and its source is comparable to the storehouse consciousness, or, more fundamentally, the enlightened mind.

Death is like the severing of wires or a break in the switch so that the lights go out. Yet the electricity is unharmed. The generator is still generating and the electricity flows wherever the circuit is not broken. In other words, at death the first seven consciousnesses collapse back into the eighth or storehouse consciousness, and the subsequent unitary, conglomerate consciousness leaves the body to go in search of another body and gets reborn elsewhere. It finds a new set of seven fully wired light bulbs waiting for the electricity to be turned on and the switch flicked.

In any case where ever she is and whatever she's doing I wish her well. And while I'm sad that I will never meet her in person I'm am glad I had the pleasure of being inspired by example of loving kindness.

I am the reverse of most of you. I never spent much time on the blog, but I knew Byrd personally and saw her nearly evey month. Eveything you noticed about her in the online world was how she was. As someone else so aptly put it, she never wore her ego like a blunt instrument, but she wasn't meek either. She had a powerful presence and she always seemed to be growing and striving. I know Byrd had some hard times, but she always seem to be joyous and excited about something. She was an astute, articulate woman who never talked down to anyone and always seemed willing to learn from everyone. I will truly miss her. Ironically, as I mentioned though I never spent much time in cyberspace with Byrd, now reading her blogs are something I have to look forward to and though it is painful to see her old emails and know that I will never get another one from her, I will look forward to reading all her blogs because that is what we have left.

Byrd. I never met you, but as one of the two females writers on this site, we shared a common gender bond and laughed about being "Byrd and Katz." When once upon a time Greg booted me off the site for lack of participation, he gave you my page and you kept many of my original entries up, which is how we first connected. I loved your writing, your perspective, your attitude and style. Having you here as a writer and a reader inspired me in many, many ways. My youngest daughter (she's 11) was talking to me this evening about how precious life is, and how we never know how much time we have left, and why we should live as if each day were our last. Then I signed onto the computer and saw the news about your passing. Point taken, Byrd. Tomorrow I am attending a Shambhala Buddhist event, and will say a very special prayer for you, my friend. Peace.

Lauren

Here in Europe we have bridges hundreds of years old some nearly 2000 years old. We often do not know the names who built them.
I believe Byrd was building bridges, crossing ideas and conflicts - connecting people. Those bridges will be used and we can do our best by following her example - building bridges.
Namu-myho-renge-kyo
Gunther Peukert, Germany

Michele or anyone,

Do you know Byrd's DoB? I think it was September 23
1956? Do you know if she once attended Crawford High School in San Diego? She had mentioned growing up in Minnesota, but people move.

gassho

robin

on Sunday at 4PM pacific time The gathering of friends will be meeting to honor and memorialize our dear friend, Byrd Ehlman. We will chant Namu myoho renge kyo from 4-4:30, followed by the recitation of the lotus sutra.. After the recitation we will chant for 5 minutes. Then we will have 5 minutes of silent meditation followed by chanting until 5 PM.

There are so many of you who Byrd has touched. Please chant pray and meditate with us in whatever way you see fit. I feel your deep connection to Byrd, so spiritually join our gathering for tommorrow at 4PM. If anyone wants us to read something from them, please email me at banker91344@yahoo.com

Thank you, we are strengthened by you all.

Bill Anker

Byrd's birthday was, indeed, September 23rd, because we share the same birthday. I believe she was born in 1955.

Last September, Sarge treated us both to lunch to celebrate our common birthdate. It's funny that finding out we had the same birthday was one of the things that bonded us.

Byrd's leaving is a hole in my heart. I met her online and we communicated a few times personally. It was always enjoyable reading the brillant, funny things she used to say. She helped me on many levels to see things more clearly.

Okay, now I've figured it out. She was a mentor to me, or what a mentor should be. She helped to put my mind at ease and be happier.

Thank you, Byrd. You are the best.

My feeble attempt at haiku.... ;) be kind...

it's for Byrd, and for those of us who feel her absence, but who were inspired by her.

empty and hollow
your absence, a bowl, ringing
through many, your voice

metta,
Kris

Hey Bill, I am going to print the picture of Byrd out and put it on my altar. My wife and I will chant here at home at the same time as the gathering at your place and keep in remembrence her and her family who must be shocked by the suddeness of losing her.

Could someone email me the address for the memorial service this afternoon? I would like to attend - in person.

Lauren,

Check your email.

Michele

I want to thank the Ankors for hosting a very meaningful memorial service this afternoon and making me feel very welcome among new "friends." I left feeling a deeper sense of who Byrd was in life, and the far-reaching impact she made on others. I will continue to send her blessings and much peace in her new form and continued journey. I have also asked the Powers That Be here on FWP if I might have the honor of taking over her blog, since when she first came on board it was to take over mine. It feels like an appropriate way to keep the circle spinning....

Lauren

Thank you so much for being there, Lauren. I wish I'd had more opportunity to talk with you, but maybe we can sometime soon.

I've always liked your writing, but felt you didn't write very often. I don't know if I ever told you this, but I moderate a private religion board and post blog entries from Fraught with Peril on it every Monday morning (along with articles from Interfaith and Christian sources). Up until you stopped posting regularly, I included your writings.

Of course, I should talk. I haven't written anything new for my blog for about 6 weeks. Byrd was always encouraging me to write. She said I'd get better the more I write.

Lolo,

Maybe you, Michele, & Kris could tag team?

Nancy?

robin

Robin,

What a wonderful idea! After all, Virginia Woolfe said that for women to write, it requires a room of one's own. Perhaps in honor of Byrd, several of us female writers could take over this page. (And Michelle, I had no idea you posted my writing elsewhere. Thank you for letting me know!)

Lauren

Lauren,

Well, I didn't post your writing itself, just an excerpt and the link to your blog. I wanted to peak people's interest and get them to go there themselves. My friend Shawn and her husband, she a Christian and he an SGI Buddhist, especially liked your writing and looked forward to when I'd post a link to something new from you.

Robin,

Do you know who we should present the idea of a "Women's Room" to? Would that be Nancy and Greg's brother?

Wow. To be nominated by Robin to sit in the company of likes of Byrd... yikes. My head may expand to the point I can't get outside.

But seriously, I would be happy to, but only if it gets called something, anything, but "The Women's Room" - simply because the connotation of being, well, a public restroom, would be too absolutely silly.... altough, maybe a little levity is a good thing, and a room where one can rest... well... that is not such a bad thing, is it now?

Yeah, humor, peace, these are values I can think about, and try to write about. I'm all for it.

Cheers,
Kris

A friend posted this today on his MySpace blog. (It wasn't in reference to Byrd, he didn't know her.) It was taken from "Everyday Mind," a Tricycle Book edited by Jean Smith. I found it to be a lovely and important reminder to live... to be authentic... to be kind... to do what we can... and, as David sang at Byrd's memorial... "Do it now while we can." (Thank you, Rob, for posting this on MySpace.)

"The Buddha recommended that every person should remember every single day that we are not here forever. It is a guest performance, which can be finished any time. We don't know when; we have no idea. We always think that we may have seventy-five or eighty years, but who knows? If we remember our vulnerability every single day, our lives will be imbued with the understanding that each moment counts and we will not be so concerned with the future. Now is the time to grow on the spiritual path. If we remember that, we will also have a different relationship to the people around us. They too can die at any moment, and we certainly wouldn't like that to happen at a time when we are not loving towards them. When we remember that, our practice connects to this moment and meditation improves because there is urgency behind it. We need to act now. We can only watch this one breath, not the next one."
-- Ayya Khema, When the Iron Eagle Flies

"peak people's interest"

pique

The Grammar Doctor

peak, peek, pique
A peak is a high point, like the peak of a hill.

To peek is to take a brief look or a glance. He peeked from around the corner at the other boy.

To pique is to challenge or stimulate. Her stories piqued my interest.

"Would that be Nancy and Greg's brother?"

Yep. I assume so.

Thanks, "Grammar Doctor, " for the lesson. :-) I should have taken the time to look it up.

Michele

I agree with you, Kris. Viginia Woolf's book was entitled "A Room Of One's Own" - no bathroom analogies there.

I think Byrd will forgive me for veering off from the topic of her passing, and address the topic of keeping her blog going. So...

I will return to Virginia Woolfe's remark that "a woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction; and that, as you will see, leaves the great problem of the true nature of woman and the true nature of fiction unsolved," and say it would be simply peachy if we could keep this page open for several women writers to contribute to.

As Woolfe noted, a woman's life is usually vey caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life... with her energy pulled here and there by the needs of family, friends, work, cleaning, laundry, and more. Even in this day and age, long after Woolfe wrote her book, it is challenging for a woman (and yes, for a man, too) to write with any consistency and focus.

I know, for me, it was (and is) nearly impossible to carve out daily time or even weekly time to write a blog, especially since the peace-and-quiet I do manage to protect for myself has to first be applied to my PAID writing career, then to my monthly column for an alternative education magazine.

I share this only because people have asked "where did you go?" and "why aren't you on FWP?" any longer. And the answer is, I keep getting kicked off for lack of consistent participation... An issue that extends into my life-at-large and causes me a considerable amount of angst. Solution? Unknown. Perhaps time is the only answer, during which my children will grow and my commitments will change.

Then again, I can imagine Byrd laughing at me laughing from the heavens and saying, "Write when you can, tend to the people who need you, don't worry, be happy."

Afterall, Virginia Woolfe committed suicide in the end. Maybe some struggles are better left as is.

NEW BLOGS:

We have Bill up. He posted his first message. Please check it.

Next we are going to add Clown Hidden.

After that we can work on the Virginia Wolfe site. Send me a message and we'll figure out how to work this.

Nancy

The perfect name just occurred to me for the new collaborative page. In honor of Byrd, and in reference to the fact that it will be authored by three females, we could call it... "Byrd's Chicks!"

Or have I gone off the deep end?

Flown the coop?

Lauren,
Brilliant.

If one is going to take the plunge and dive off of cliffs, one ought to aim at the deep end, neh?

Be well, be adventurous,
Kris

Thanks, Kris. (Or should I say, "Partner?")

I emailed Nancy and suggested the blog name: Byrd's Chicks: A collaboration of the three golden girls, (Michelle's name), (Kris's name) and Queen Lolo (or whatever my pen name may be this time around....)

I knew "Byrd," as Wendy, we first met on the lot of Disney/ABC,in Burbank; she had been a long time temp in the Business & Legal Affairs Dept. and I was rather green coming in to the department as a temp myself. Wendy, (Byrd) took me under her wings and ensured that I was in the know with regards to all the particulars in the department; we would take turns picking each others pay check up on a weekly bases...
We would have the most profound conversations, and it would appear that I had matured at least 10 years in as woman just in a 10 min. conversation. As our conversations would persist, I found out that she too practiced Nicherin Daishonin's Buddhism and at the moment of discovery we both knew that we shared a Karmic connection. I eventually left the department but she was one of several women that took me out for a fabulous lunch and bidded me a fond farewell. I will forever be appreciative of our meeting and hold our conversations as precious treasures that I now can share with the next young lady who is seeking her mission in life.
Roxanne

I've been reading Byrd's blog now for a while and just found out of Byrd's
passing away. I think it's a big loss for mankind.

I Met Byrd on a SGI related board and we started also a off board
friendship. She encouraged at several times off board. She also sent
me from time to time small presents like wristbands of SGI-USA and so.

Knowing Byrd, she is probable listening now to the lectures of Toda
Sensei and watching over all of us. That I'm sure of. I think that, if
it was possible, she would write a very long blog to us from the Eagle
top, telling us how beautiful it is.

To me, she was a remarkable woman, who never cared what other thought
about her way of thinking or doing. In her own way she was a true
believer and follower of Nichiren and the SGI presidents.

I will miss her friendship and warmth.

NMHRK,NMHRK, NMHRK,

André de WIt
The Netherlands

Byrd was my buddy. I was there when she first started chanting and we spent some wonderful years in the then NSA YWD. I truly miss her. I can hear her laughter now.

I will be contributing to a cause that Byrd found joy in, that of adult literacy.

For those of you who wish to join me, you can mail a check to:

Library Foundation of Los Angeles
c/o Carolyn Wagner
630 W. 5th St.
Los Angeles, CA 90071

Be sure to include a note that says this is a tribute gift for Wendy "Byrd" Ehlmann, and that it is intended for the Adult Literacy program.

I hope it is one small way that the Byrd's spirit can carry on into the future.

I had hoped to earmark the money for the specific library she volunteered at; but haven't yet got that information. I believe it was the Panorama City branch - if anyone has more information, please let me know!

In memory of a very rare Byrd.
Kris

For Robbin, yes Byrd did attend Crawford high school in San Diego and yes she was born in 56

I was saddened to hear that Wendy has passed away. Although I have only seen her once or twice since High School, I still have fond memories or her. We were the two most unlikliest people to be dance partners in our senior year play. Wendy was patient with me and kept her sense of humor no matter how many times I dropped her. From what I read from others, she will be remembered and missed.

Wendy ~ Thank you for showing me your smile! I will miss you!

I had emailed john fry who was organizing contact lists for Crawford's class of 1974. I had not heard back, but I assume he got the word.

They have an obit up:

1974 Obituaries
http://www.johnfry.com/pages/Obits74.html

4th down

Wendy Ehlman

September 23, 1956 - August 6, 2008

Wendy was apparently known as "Byrd" to her Buddhist friends. Click HERE to read some of their memories of her.

Their link leads here.

Does anyone know if August 6th was determined to be the day she passed away?

robin

I met "Byrd" in 2005 when I moved into the Co-Op where we both lived. At the time she was President of the Co-Op Board. That's when I first met her, at the Co-Op Board Interview. She was wonderful. "Byrd" was also a wonderful neighbor with a big, big, compassionate, heart...and, a big, big, brain to match. Her passing was unexpected. If there was anything I could have done to lessen Byrd's suffering while on earth, I would have done it. Byrd had soooo much love in her heart. I will miss Byrd.

Nam-Yo-Ho-Renge-Kyo.

Shashi Bhatia