A Byrd's Eye View

Byrd:

Very important issue. It has come to my attention that there is a huge disconnect between people's true needs and what the organization does. If you are a high level leader, a popular leader, well connected member, etc., there seems, in many cases daimoku toso's, substantial personal attention, and end of life support.

Further, but on another line of problem, when general members or leaders are up against hard times, there is no decent practical support mechanism beyond, "you must chant more," "you must do shakubuku," "you must cchange your karma, "you must change your attitude," this is punishment for your slander, yada, yada, f-ing yada. American churches have food banks and resources to steer people who hit on hard times to vital public services. They don't a lecture or "suffering is good for you." Pretty much, in the SGI, if you hit the skids, you're on your own.

Back to pioneer/senior/critical Illness support. The SGI needs to back to the drawing board and revamp it''s entire attitude toward end of life/ critical illness care. Cards and visits are very important. Hot meals and transportation to the doctor are even more important. Members shouldn't be fooled into the illusion that there will be some orrganizxed movement or caring squad of altruistic members that will automatically go into intense support mode when one of our own goes down or is on the way out.

I base this observation on personal experience and observation. When I got cancer, unable to work, and forced into bankruptcy, there was one card from the membrship, no discernable physical support of any kind, and I realized that not only was there zero support system, but that my family was truly on our own. I have also seen this perverted dynamic played out dozens of times. We have much to learn from the humanitartian services of the Christians that we assume we are so much better than.

When it comes to end of life care and death itself, that concern has always seemed to be predicated on the persons ststus in the organization. I know that it has been wriiten and said that the SGI is so compassionate and caring for it's own when they are dying, and when they die, but that has not been my personal observation. I've seen where a chapter of more than a hundred who managed only five or six members at the memorial service. In other words, there is a huge contradiction in the compassion we say we have and the compassion we actually demonstrate.

I would caution all the members who envision a cadre of caring "eternal friends" rushing to their bedside or helping their family find a way to pay a bill so their power doesn't get shut off, or chippping in to get their family groceries. It probably won't happen. But when the famous or well connected leaders get sick or die, there's a huge show of support. Expect nothing, expect to be left alone and to die alone. That's what needs to be fixed. We need a support system that will help people feed their families, pay their utility bills, hold our hand when we die, and make a show of force at the memorial service. What I've see, for the most part is more lies, more bullshit, and people to judgmental to help others in their hour of need. Expect nothing.

Charles

Charles,
My experience is so much different than yours, and I still practice within the SGI today. Do you?

In Las Vegas I sat with Mrs. Garcia, and many other dying members. I am not the only one, and not just high level leaders. I have had many friends that live and die happily, without blaming the SGI.

You want to blame the SGI for how people live and die, that is just SAD.

The SGI is not a social program. Talk to your congressman/women and stop blaming the SGI for the US's social ills. Take responsibilty for what America does instead of blaming the Japanese for America's ills.

The US has the worst child laws as well going to blame the SGI for that too?

Patrick

This is an excellent reminder, I think, and
Charles' experience with serious illness drives
home the need for support. I've seen my mom's church members respond
to our family's recent stress points of
emergency, illness and death. They show up
and do what's needed to support her.

I suggest a a look at proven support systems in our local churches.

This is a great reminder for me to
get out and meet my newer neighbors. Sometimes just
going to the library for someone makes a huge difference in the
quality of their life. Just showing up
is most of it.

If the problem is studied, committeed, disected
and overplanned it may not be as
successful as each of us going out and meeting our neighbors
with an open mind to what we may have to share.

Huevos rancheros
was what Barbara loved and you only knew this because you knew her.
Your reflections continue to inspire me. Patty

Patrik:

What is your problem? I have never seen an apologist at your level, sir. You seem to view life in the SGI with rose colored glasses. I have seen positive things and disturbing ones.

"You want to blame the SGI for how people live and die, that is just SAD."

I never blamed the SGI for how people live and die. My comments were based on decades of actual observation and personal experience. How wonderful for you that you can cite a single example of compassion.

"The SGI is not a social program. Talk to your congressman/women and stop blaming the SGI for the US's social ills. Take responsibilty for what America does instead of blaming the Japanese for America's ills."

The SGI is a religious organization and should conduct itself that way. The US, the States, and society have hospice programs in virtually every area, as well as social security disability, and an abundance of social services. On the other hand, the SGI, a religious organization and so-called network of "eternal friends" is engaged with people's daily lives on a daily basis and yet, there is no formal program to facilitate end of life care or support. Maybe you should read "Still Here" by Ram Dass that describes the Hindu-based network of end of life care and support, or look into the American-based Tibetan Buddhist programs. That doesn't even touch on the the various Christian churches and their comprehensive programs. Get a grip, man.

"The US has the worst child laws as well going to blame the SGI for that too?"

Actually, Patrick, your continuing defensive coments make you the poster child of SGI denial. I merely suggested that the SGI needs to fix this internal problem, it wasn't an indictment of the SGI, just an obvious problem. But you try and defend the indefensible and throw some oranges into a barrel of apples.

I've seen good things and I've seen bad things. If you refuse to recognize the problems, they only deepen. You do not help the SGI by defending Its flaws instead of trying to fix them.

"...I still practice within the SGI today. Do you?"

You know I don't. Why? Flaws in doctrine, realities like thosementioned here, and of course, Patrick, people like you.

Charles

Charls,
My experiences are baesd on the same.

The difference is I am not blaming the SGI for the ills of others. The SGUI is not a social program.

You spoke of social programs, not I.

The US has the worst social programs in my opinion. the SGI is about empowering people not taking care of people, weakening them.

You can call me anyhting you want, your choice, and your poor opinions of others.

I ahve sat wiht more dying SGI members over the years than I can remember. But I stil am there for them.

I am an adult orphan and I know more about what teh US does not do for children or poor people than you do, as well as how the SGI empowers people I am the result of that act. My Perosnal experience.

Patrick

Charles,
The program is called member care. Look up the details in the current Leadership manual of the SGI-USA.

Very detailed activities for leaders to care for the membership, which is why I asked where you practice within SGI.

If you practiced within the SGI you would know about the bi-monthly member care meetings; district level and up; for the purpose of discussing the issues surronding the conditions of each memebr, just like Barbara's.

Patrick

Hi everybody - gee, I walk away for a couple of hours, and the heat gets turned up at my blog!

FWIW, I did get Barbara's permission to write about her, and she told me especially that she appreciated my entry entitled "Bodhissatva Tulip-Bearer", in which I discussed one of my visits to her. I am concerned that people reading here not get the impression that I am taking advantage of Barbara in some way or misrepresenting our friendship.

I am with Charles and Patty, here. I think this issue needs to be thoroughly addressed and examined within the Gakkai. Although Patrick's posts seem to take the position that end-of-life care and elder care is not the SGI's job (or is its job only on a district or Chapter level), I agree that religious organizations in the US have a tradition of caring for their own older members which we have not yet developed.

I know there's a Zen Buddhist hospice in San Francisco. On Tuesday night, I spoke with an old-time SGI-USA leader who thought maybe the Gakkai might want to start up a nursing home. He said he would discuss this "up the line". Personally, I believe that we need to have a broader-range group (i.e., pan-group and chapter, maybe evern pan-area or region) so that people involved inthis kind of care don't end up re-inventing the wheel. I.e., I know an elder-abuse detective team from the LAPD -- I think they would make good speakers for a pioneers meeting, or a meeting of people who are interested in pioneer care. What do you think?

Aside from the fact that some here don't think it's the Gakkai's business to engage in this kind of action, of the people here who think the Gakkai should be involved, what specifics can you suggest?

I'm genuinely interested.

Thanks, Wahzoh

I don't know how I feel about this. I agree with Charles that you had better plan to be on your own. I don't agree that christian churches are so wonderful in this regard I've not seen that going on regularly, although it does happen sometimes, I have seen a lot of visiting, support, and prayer for rank and file members in the SGI as well. I also am somewhat in agreement with Patrick that the SGI is not set up to be a social welfare system. I think for myself if I was on my death bed I would like to be surrounded by people who loved and cared for me, but I would rather die alone than have people who were there out of some sort of organizational mandate. I'd rather one person who really cared than a large group out of formality. Maybe that more people aren't in the really caring group says something.
ch
ch

The SGI is not a social program. Talk to your congressman/women and stop blaming the SGI for the US's social ills. Take responsibilty for what America does instead of blaming the Japanese for America's ills.

The US has the worst child laws as well going to blame the SGI for that too?

Patrick
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That is a valid political position. Mine is different. Traditionally, such things were left to the family, extended family, neighborhood, community, church, private foundations, and so on, with government the provider of last resort.

That spirit of taking responsibility from the grass roots levels up has sadly declined even during my life time. This is a shame. I worked with system kids 15 years ago or so. It was clear then that the government services were the worst; worse than mediocre parenting by those who loved the children. Private orphanages like Mooseheart were better than government group homes.

robin

I agree with those who say don't count on help from SGI when you are sick or in a crisis. I was an active member for almost 20 years when I became very sick with appendicitis. I called two members, leaders that I'd known for years, and they wouldn't even take me to the ER. One even told me, "It's not convenient for me to help you right now." How rude of me, getting sick at a time when it wasn't convenient for her to help me.

After I'd had an appendectomy and was discharged from the hospital, not one of my fellow members could even lift a finger to call me and see how I was, even though they knew that I'd had surgery and was staying at home alone. The people who truly came through for me were my neighbors, whom I didn't even know very well at the time, and a nurse friend who worked insanely long and exhausting shifts -- all nonBuddhists.

I'd worked hard for the SGI -- running study groups, giving members rides to meetings, making phone calls, planning meetings -- but I'd also questioned many things, starting with the SGI/priesthood split in the 90's. Many leaders got annoyed with my questioning -- one snapped at me, "Americans ask too many questions!"

It makes me wonder. If I didn't ask questions, would I have been in the 'in group,' -- and would the other members have helped me when I was so sick? I have not been to a meeting since the surgery. I just cannot stand to go and listen to the leaders, including the one who refused to help me, talk about how much they care about other people.

I know, part of it is the individual -- some Buddhists, Hindus, Catholics, Reform Jews, Sunni Muslims and Wiccans will help you, some won't. But I wonder if SGI dogma doesn't contribute too. These members that I knew were so proud of having this grand and glorious mission to promote kosen-rufu and save the world and all humanity...perhaps just making a phone call to a sick friend doesn't seem glorious enough. It is easy to love humanity; humanity doesn't ask you to drive them to the hospital at an inconvenient time.