Those of us who were alive in 1985 can recall that mortifying moment in Oscar history when Sally Field won her second Best Actess Oscar for "Places In The Heart". Over the years, her acceptance speech has become one of the most parodied and joked-about speeches ever -- a Hollywood legend -- a model of giddy low self-esteem:
"I haven't had an orthodox career, and I've wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I didn't feel it, but this time I feel it, and I can't deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!"
We who grew up in the 60's also remember that great exemplar of guileless sincerity, Gomer Pyle - the US Marine Corps recruit from Mayberry who expressed his amazement with a wide-eyed "soo-prize, soo-prize, soo-prize!!! And if something was truly remarkable, "Goll-eeee!!!"
This is somewhat embarassing to admit, but I had an experience which sort of combined the features of Sally and Gomer while reading Brad Warner's book, "Sit Down and Shut Up". In one of the final Chapters, Warner discusses the "Eight Truths of Great Human Beings", a list which Dogen, the founder of the Soto sect of Zen Buddhism compiled near the end of his life.
According to Dogen, the first thing great human beings need is
Over the years, this lack of ambitious hunger on my part has led me to subtly doubt my "faith" - and Nichiren says that we enter the Gohonzon through faith, right? I mean, for so many years in the SGI-USA Youth Division, I was urged to practice Buddhism in order to "show actual proof", and that "actual proof" was typically something other than an eleven year-old Toyota with a dent in the driver's side door. I went to meeting after meeting where I was told to "make a BIG DETERMINATION" - something that would really show the power of the Gohonzon, and then I was supposed to dedicate my practice to this BIG GOAL, all the time keeping my focus on a Buddhist leader who collects unearned academic degrees as if they were Pokemon cards. If I was having trouble making this kind of "actual proof" my model of faith in the ultimate Buddhist teaching of the Lotus Sutra, then clearly there was something wrong with me, right? Sorry, Sarge.
Now, here I am, cruising into middle age, with absolutely no desire to "prove the truth" of Nichiren Buddhism with any kind of prize, plaque, or property which I can dedicate to my practice or to my Mentor. And I live in Los Angeles - the great Mecca of glitz, where I surely should feel the drive to fame and fortune. But I don't feel that drive. I honestly never have. Does this mean I'm a bad Buddhist? Does it mean that I'm depressed and need a medication? Does it mean that I have low self-esteem? NO!!! In the immortal words of Gomer Pyle, USMC: "soo-prize, soo-prize, soo-prize!" - according to Dogen, it actually means I have the number one quality of a great human being! Well, excuse me while I have a Sally-Gomer moment!
The number two quality of a great human being, according to Dogen is that s/he "knows satisfaction....To take within limits from among things already gained is called to know satisfaction." He quotes the Buddha as saying, "Those who do not know satisfaction, even when living in a heavenly palace, are still not satisfied. Those who do not know satisfaction, even if rich, are poor. People who know satisfaction, even if poor, are rich."
This is Hollywood, fer cryin' out loud - the town where the maid drives a Beemer. Who in this town would look at me driving along in my dented old Toyota and say "There goes a rich woman?" The Buddha, that's who. Goll-eeee!! What a relief!
Be satisfied, be happy, be cool.
Byrd in LA
Hey, Byrd -
You remind me of part of the prayer I say every time I offer service:
"May we purify our minds, limit our desires, learn to be content, feel free to experience the quiet unassuming joys of life, and learnm to abndon all attachments formed in the mind."
and later:
"With this prayer we endeavor to increase our understanding and appreciation of what others have given and contributed to us and to develop constant, mindful consideration of how our thoughts and actions will beneficially contribute to others."
Namaste, Engyo Mike Barrett
Posted by: Engyo Mike Barrett at September 17, 2007 02:59 PMThanks, Mike - I'm going to start praying that prayer myself! Byrd in LA
Posted by: Byrd in LA at September 17, 2007 03:07 PMI think you need a bit of "Ananda" spirit in your life..
For me I show actual proof by having joy and laughter in my life on a daily basis. Always finding beauty even on the most challenging days... A smile seems to draw out the best in people in my environment.
Powered by Daimoku...and lots of moisturizer:)
Best,
Dr. Mimi
Posted by: Dr. Mimi at September 19, 2007 12:23 AMI'm always the happy one at work, too, Mimi - people seem to rely on it after awhile, and that's OK with me. Building the Buddha land where we are, right?
As for what I "need", I think that what I "needed" was a validation of what I already knew...that all the Hollywood crap people aim at is transient and insignificant in the big picture. I know and live every day that true wealth is on the inside, it's just that Hollywood is not an environment which offers much sense of community for that belief. Quite the contrary. What the Dogen quote did was confirm what I believed, and I was encouraged to read that.
Thanks for writing in, Byrd
Posted by: Byrd in LA at September 19, 2007 08:50 AMGreat post. I drive a 1994 Dodge with a dent. Good car, no payments, etc., and I have practiced for over 33 years.
Posted by: hardtotrack at September 19, 2007 11:33 PMByrd,
Wow!!! Engyo is on the same wavelength as I am... between this and your last post, my mind kept getting back to the two prayers Engyo mentioned....
Always aiming at something BIG seems to be looking for the "Pure Land" in some other place...
but I digress...
Kris
Posted by: Kris at September 21, 2007 08:32 PMByrd: Nice Sally/Gomer combo. About 2 years ago I purchased my first late model car. Also, my salary has tripled in the last 6 years. I think this happened because of efforts , or non-efforts, or deconstruction of much of my Gakkai-induced belief system. I think I'll have a Lennon moment, and quote him by saying, "I just had toooo let it goowoao."
So, what are you going to do about that lovely youth division guidance? It's taken a back hoe and years of shoveling to get that muck out of my mind. I think my final Sally/Gomer moment (and I'm having it right now) is to realize that this process of deconstruction includes a complete reinvention of me, but without the me. I watched Wayne Dyer on PBS last night. He was talking about the Tao, and how he spent a whole year just living the Tao. I haven't even read the Tao. It definitely was not on the SGI best-seller list, and could possibly be considered heretical, provisional, inferior - whatever.
Much of the 'guidance' you relate above originated during NSA times. I seriously doubt any of it actually came from Nichiren Shoshu. It's completely and utterly Gakkai - by the Gakkai, of the Gakkai, and for the Gakkai.
Not for me - she who used to be referred to simply as YWD.
Yeah, Ashley - what was that old Gakkai song - the one responsible for so many rotator-cuff injuries?
"The eyes of the world are upon me
And I shall never stray.
Can't you hear the members calling
It's Happiness on they're way"...
or something like that. That's the best recollection I can offer right now.
I think it was that whole "The eyes of the world are upon me" thing that fed into the ambition/Hollywood/acquisition delusional thing. Anyway, I'm pretty well shut of it now. Thanks for writing in, Byrd in LA
Posted by: Byrd in LA at September 24, 2007 01:31 PM