“Lojong” is a Tibetan Buddhist mind-training practice that uses 59 slogans to help us wake up and open our hearts. I’ve been working with the teachings, and reading Pema Chodron’s book, “Start Where You Are” which focuses on each slogan and offers practice insights on how to apply them to daily modern life.
The slogans include, “Always maintain a joyful mind,” and “Don’t expect applause,” and “Change your attitude, but remain natural.”
Last night I read the chapter on “Be Grateful To Everyone.” Pema talks about how we usually want to avoid situations and people who drive us crazy – when, in fact, these are precisely what we need to wake up and grow.
“When you’ve met your match, you’ve found a teacher,” she writes.
Pema shares a story about the Indian Buddhist teacher, Atisha, who went to Tibet. He was worried about his “blind spots” -- those places in us all that we hide from ourselves and others. He wanted to make sure he’d continue waking up and working on himself. He was told that the people of Tibet were good-natured and kind, and was concerned they wouldn’t be irritating enough to push his buttons. So he brought along a mean-tempered Bengali tea boy to drive him crazy. (The comical ending to the story is that when he got to Tibet, he realized he didn’t need the tea boy after all, because the Tibetans weren’t as pleasant as he’d been told.)
Apparently Gurdjieff had his own version of the “tea boy” too. There was a very high-strung student in his community who drove all the other students insane. One day this guy freaked out and ran away. The others were thrilled! But Gurdjieff was upset, and went after him in his car. When an assistant asked Gurdjieff why he cared about this annoying student, Gurdjieff confided a secret. "You're not going to believe this... and you must tell no one. I PAY HIM to stay here!"
Pema told this story at a mediation center that later sent her a letter.“We used to have two people here helping and there was a lot of harmony. Now we have four and the trouble is beginning. So every day we ask each other,
“Is somebody paying you to be here?”
I know we all have people, organizations, and life situations that serve as our “tea boys.” No one has to pay to be exposed daily to irritations. We don’t have to look any further than our own families, friends, neighbors, or freeways. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves by loving, supportive influences, we still get hit in the face every single day by a multitude of things we’d rather avoid. It's just part of the human drama.
So what’s the solution? “Be grateful to everyone” means viewing it all as grist for the mill. “Other people trigger the karma that we haven’t worked out,” Pema says. “They mirror us and give us the chance to befriend all of that ancient stuff that we carry around like a backpack full of granite boulders.”
Far from wishy-washy, “Be grateful to everyone” requires fierce willpower and focus. It’s much easier to jump into defensiveness, hide under the covers, or plot a juicy revenge. It’s simpler to pour a glass of wine, turn on the radio, and put that cranky tea boy right out of your mind. Afterall, he’s the one with the problem, right?
Well, Pema says, “Do you want to always be right? Or do you want to WAKE UP?”
Personally, I'd much rather be napping. I enjoyed that story in Pema Chodron's book, too, but honestly, how awake can I get I don't remember if Pema Chodron offered a quota or a limit (two for one, irritating co-op shareholders on sale today only).
This is certainly a different approach to that which the gakkai takes - i.e., chant long enough and hard enough and do your human revolution and the irritating peron will either change or go away. Gotta go, work calls, Byrd in LA
Posted by: Byrd in LA at June 6, 2005 06:06 AMQueen Lolo:
Thanks for this essay and reminder of the importance of reading Buddhist writers from all traditions.
"Slogans" or what, in this vein, I call affirmations are crucial in daily practice, living life, and especially healing. These slogans allow us to cut the diamond of our life, while our meditation polishes it.
It was most refreshing to come out of my deadline for a brief respite and "catch up" on you all, only to find this important reminder to affirm life. One of my personal favorites that I use is: "My eternal ife is in the present moment." Another is "learn something from everyone you meet."
Thanks
Charles
Posted by: Charles at June 6, 2005 01:40 PMAnnoying people are annoying. But granted, they are very educating. To be blunt; this is one of the most valuable lesson SGI has tought me. I am not being sarcastic or anything. I'll be eternally gratefull to SGI for learning me how to respect and tollerate people that behaves in ways I find deeply provocing. For learning me the effect of metta meditation(a must before bigger meetings) and how to accept and even appriciate that people dont allways behave the way you want them to do.
Byrd:
If chant long enough: Will the major part of SGI dissapear? Or change? Or is it me that will move on? Or will I become one of them?
Henrik
Thank you, my Queen Lolo- for these nice little reminders that there is a different way of looking at things. Helps me to rise above my warm and comfortable cocoon of anger and resentment and remember that which I can so easily forget...the truth.
xxx-D
Byrd, you wrote "This is certainly a different approach to that which the gakkai takes - i.e., chant long enough and hard enough and do your human revolution and the irritating peron will either change or go away."
I am wondering what "do your human revolution" means to you. Isn't it about observing your mind and changing from the inside out?
Posted by: queen lolo at June 7, 2005 01:21 PMLolo:
I was trained in the old school where human revolution essentially meant "submit" (oops, I mean follow and support) - if the conflict was with a Gakkai leader - and "do more activities" if the conflict was with someone else (like a family member). I was offering that classic "prescription" ironically.
Henrik:
Good question. This depends on your area. How about all of the above?
Byrd in LA