A Byrd's Eye View

Eyes Wide Open

Today I witnessed a group activity that renewed my faith in the human race.

The individuals in this group were, without a doubt, the most fully-awakened beings I have met in a long time. Each was clearly in touch with her true nature, her joy for life, and her reason for being there. The entire group related to one another (and to themselves) with total honesty, spontaneous emotion, and deep love.

No, these were not monks, lamas, leaders, or saints.

These were eight homeschooled girls between the ages of 3 and 9, at a “My Little Pony”- themed birthday party for Madison, age 6.

The group activity I refer to was a five-minute game of Pin The Tail on the Donkey. But it wasn’t your ordinary version of the game.

Theirs had no winner or losers. There was no competition. They used no blindfold.

Instead, they played the game with eyes wide open.

As each child came to the front of the line to take her turn, she was handed a tail to stick on the donkey. (Actually it was My Little Pony in this case.) Each child decided for herself HOW she wanted to play. Most wanted to do it with their eyes open. And yet, in spite of this seeming-contradiction, each approached the game with total concentration and serious determination. The lack of a blindfold did nothing to take away the fun.

Watching from the sidelines, I almost fainted in delight.

The game took on the spirit of a cooperative art project rather than a competitive sport. When one child did opt to close her eyes, no one cared at all. In fact, no one even seemed to notice where the others placed their tails. It simply didn’t matter. No one was comparing themselves with anyone else.

The goal wasn’t to be the best or outdo your friends. It wasn’t about poking fun at someone who completely missed the mark. (Although my kids always love it when grandpa “accidentally” puts the tail on grandma’s back at our parties.) There were no winners, losers, or prizes. It wasn’t about what you’d get at the end.

It was the simple pleasure of the moment that counted. It was about sharing an activity with friends. Period.

These girls knew that the most direct route to their goal was straight ahead with open eyes. To hell with “rules” that hold you back and pit you against your friends, fostering competition rather than encouraging joy and connection. It was a simple activity that lasted no more than five or ten minutes. But it truly took my breath away. (And I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing.)

As the birthday girl blew out the candles on her cake, I made a silent wish that these kids will have the courage and wisdom to live their whole lives in the same spirit they had that day at Madison's 6th birthday party, playing together with their eyes, minds, and hearts wide open.

While we try to teach our children all about life,
our children teach us what life is all about.
-- Angela Schwindt

Posted by at May 29, 2005 04:00 PM