A Byrd's Eye View

Queen Lolo,

All of the reasons you mentioned apply to me.

I'll add another way my practice enriches my life. Accepting the fact that suffering is a part of life, not something to be the 'victor' of, has opened a well of compassion in my life.

I can sit with my dying father-in-law and talk about things. He's not going to get better and it hurts to lose him. Somehow, in honoring his suffering, I honor him.

I'm able to listen to my very ill step father and my mom tell me about what's going wrong with their health and know it's a real bitch for them. I listen to their plans for funerals carefully because I know they're going to happen.

Before, I would be chanting hours and hours. Now I spend these hours with these people I love. We share pie and coffee. We hold the family babies and talk about their own childhoods. We lurch around with wheelchairs, oxygen tanks and pills through restaurants and parks and shopping malls making jokes about life and death as we go along.

I don't run around trying to manipulate life and death the way I used to. Life has become richer because my eyes are open to the fleeting and changing nature of everything.
With deep respect, Patty

Queen Lolo & all -

What does practicing Buddhism do for me? I guess I have to say that it provides the foundation for how I live my life. Practice gives me a level of understanding about what happens in my life, and a way to process that information and to make the decisions everybody makes day-to-day, as well as the “big” ones that affect lives beyond our own.

Practicing gives me confidence that I can handle whatever life throws at me. It gives me hope that I can continue to become a better person; I know I certainly have done so to this point. Practice provides me structure, allows me to balance different parts of my life that compete for my time, and offers methods to combat some of my negative tendencies.

Practicing also gives me hope and confidence that I can make some sort of positive difference to society and the world I live in; both locally, in my neighborhood and city, and in larger arenas. It offers me a vehicle through which I can connect with others in these endeavors as well.

These are all big-picture type things. My practice also gives me small daily benefits…….
I can definitely tell the difference in the way things flow at work, or in home projects, when my practice has been slipping and I am not applying myself properly. My interactions with others are always a good indicator of whether I am “in the zone” or “in rhythm”. If I am having difficulty accomplishing something, then I need to look at my general level of practice. If that seems OK, then maybe there is some specific issue happening that I need to work on. This sort of mindfulness issue is very valuable to me, as I tend to be a sort of oblivious personality otherwise.

I’d better stop here, or this will end up longer than your blog!

Namaste, Engyo Mike Barrett

Patty wrote: "I'll add another way my practice enriches my life. Accepting the fact that suffering is a part of life, not something to be the 'victor' of, has opened a well of compassion in my life."

Queen Lolo replies: Patty, your comments, especially this one, are incredibly meaningful to me.You really hit on what Buddhism is truly about in my mind:

Being in the present moment without trying to change anything at all. (That's also the point of the Jewish sabbath, where every Friday night from sundown to sunrise, Jews take a mini-vacation from work and effort and enjoy life as it is.)

While I believe we can affect change and influence reality by our intentions, I also believe it all begins by being present with what is, including the fears, the sorrows, the losses, the changes. Buddha taught that all of life involves suffering, and unless we accept that, we've missed the bottomline.

I was at an SGI meeting recently and a long-time member was very upset, actually in tears, as he shared an experience about feeling helpless in the presence of a suffering member. He said the other man had come to him in pain, and he hadn't know what to say to help him. I was struck by his desparation to know what to SAY to HELP the man CHANGE his situation.

Perhaps all that was needed was for him to take this person's hand and let the man know he wasn't alone, to be there with his OWN pain and not try to push it away with the right quote by someone else about "victory" or "winning" over our suffering. Perhaps he didn't need to change a thing, but just needed to be present for the other person. And for himself as well.

To me, practice is about being real and honest and PRESENT with exactly what is at each and every moment. I don't believe it's about "winning" or "being victorious" to prove anything to anyone. It's about appreciating our lives as they are, and using our intentions to create even greater appreciation and openness.

Thank you, Patty and Mike as well for your comments.

My recent practice has been allowing me to explore and enjoy and get back in touch with the Lotus Sutra. I've started to read portions aloud in English, and I'm also chanting Daimoku a LOT slower than I do when at Gakkai events - oddly, this makes it more difficult for me to concentrate while chanting at SGI gatherings. I have found that actually concentrating on the sound of the Daimoku helps me to clear my mind and "fuse" with the mandala a lot more easily.

The statements by Lolo and Patty in regard to compassion andh ow do we addres suffering are tremendously resonant for me. One of the biggest issues for me in examining my "faith" within the Gakkai over the past year or so has been this question of how we address suffering.

Somehow, many of us have convinced ourselves that suffering is somehow a sign of weak faith or an indication that there's something we need to "challenge" or "overcome" in order to be "victorious" - this puts a lot of pressure on people who are struggling already. Put on a happy face or things will get worse, basically.
This is SUPER dysfunctional -- go rent "Ordinary People" to see a wonderful example of the agony you can find in families where the chief requirement is to look happy and as though you are victorious over suffering at all costs. Makes me shiver. No, suffering is not an indicator that you are failing to fight your evil dysfuinctional parent-sect enough. Suffering is a fact of life, and when we recognize that (as the Buddha did/does), we take a huge step towards our own enlightenment by way of enlarging our own compassion.

Thanks a lot for this blog. Best, Byrd inLA

I got this comment today, sent via my personal email, from a friend who is an active SGI member. She gave me permission to share it here:

I love my Buddhist practice because I can create value out of any situation, and therefore no matter what life throws me I can respond
with joy and the confidence that I can turn it around. I came to the ractice with a strong commitment to living a contributive life, now I
see the contribution I can make as much more than the things I do in the world, but who I am in the world...

I notice in the comments section there are some significant misunderstandings about the idea of victory in the SGI and frankly, in Buddhism... victory is changing your karma - not externally changing the events... changing your karma is about changing your fundamental life condition--where you come from, how you are in the world, and what you create around you... human revolution is about developing a life
condition--not a lifestyle... in fact, the SGI regards suffering as the critical ingredient necessary to develop one's self--not
necessarily change one's situation... the victory is transforming one's inner life by challenging "fundamental darkness"... sometimes
it's the act of trying and struggling to change circumstances which sway your life condition that presents the opportunity to develop
oneself inside... It's the struggle to manifest Buddhahood (qualities like wisdom, compassion, joy, true self, freedom etc) under any
circumstance-- if you can do that then the situation will either change or cease to cause you to suffer... now that's victory!

Interestingly, when Shakyamuni became enlightened under the bodhi tree, he did so by challenging his negativity. The story is that a devil
came to him and said, "You're too weak, you'll never live through this, you're going to starve to death and then what difference will it make
if you achieve enlightenment anyway, you won't be able to share it with anyone, you must stop..." Shakyamuni was very challenged by this and
almost gave up... Instead, finally he said, "No, I will continue even if I die. Go away devil!" And at that moment he became enlightened.
That's when he said, "The sun has risen in my heart!" For the whole history of Buddhism, enlightenment has only been revealed through
struggle. Enlightenment is the victory...

That was an interesting story about Shakyamuni, one that I've never heard I've heard of mara saying lots of things, but not that - I'd be curious to know what your friend's source for that was.

In regard to the sundry "misunderstandings" about how victory is interpreted or taught in the Gakkai, the theory is one thing,and the practice is another. The practice in real time, and your friend knows this as well as anyone, is that when members do suffer as a result of some ongoing situation (an illness or whatever), then they get the idea they're "not doing it right" if it doesn't (a) change, or (b) cease causing them to suffer. Oops, gottaa go now, this is not my computer. Why not encourage your friend to post here directly? best, byrd in LA