In an article in Shambhala Sun, Natalie Goldberg shares a story told to her by Ed Brown about her teacher, Katagiri Roshi. (“When the Candle is Blown Out,” page 65, Sept. 2004.)
Ed was a longtime Buddhist practitioner and also a student of Katagiri Roshi. After 20 years of rigorous practice, one day he suddenly thought, "Ed, maybe you can just hear what your heart is saying. You can be quiet and pay attention to yourself.”
The next day, he had an interview with Katagiri. He asked the teacher, .“Do you think it’s okay to just listen to yourself?” His teacher looked down, then looked up and replied. “Ed, I tried very hard to practice Dogen’s Zen. After 20 years I realized there is no Dogen’s Zen.”
I love this story, because it reminds me not to do someone else’s practice. Dogen wasn’t a “Dogen Buddhist.” Nichiren Daishonin wasn’t a Nichiren Buddhist. And Shakamuni Buddha was not a “Buddhist!”
Each was an individual seeking personal answers to their own burning questions. Each discovered their own way to “enlightenment,” and then shared their methods and ideas with others. And while these methods may indeed help me answer my own burning questions, I need to be careful. Because it’s easy to get caught up in being a “Buddhist” of one “brand” or another, and forget my own original, burning questions. It’s easy to fall into the trap of practicing a certain way, and failing to discover what’s true for me.
I believe that what happened to Shakamuni under the Bodhi Tree was this: He was quiet and focused and experienced enough to finally hear his own heart. He wasn’t going through the motion of someone else’s practice. He tried that before and failed. He wasn’t doing it the way he’d been told. He’d had enough of that. (Nearly lost his life that way.)
In the same spirit, Nichiren Daishonin didn’t follow the Buddhist teachings of his time, either. He had his own burning questions, and found the answers for himself. If there is anything to be emulated here, I think it’s the incredible level of courage, self trust, and faith demonstrated by all these guys.
To me, the heart of Buddhism is knowing that the answers are within you. It’s not about being a Nichiren Buddhist or a Zen Buddhist or a Tibetan Buddhist. It’s about being YOU. Certainly I can learn from and try on the ideas and robes of those who came before me, and those who fill my lives today. But I always need to come back to my OWN burning questions, and find my own path to the answers that are right for me.
“We do not receive wisdom, we must discover it for ourselves, after a journey through the wilderness, which no one else can make for us, which no one can spare us, for our wisdom is the point of view from which we come at last to regard the world.” Marcel Proust
Beautiful, Lolo. Just what I needed to hear in light of some dilemnas I'm navigating through.
Gabrielle
Posted by: Gabrielle Wise at March 21, 2005 09:22 PMLast year I attended a workshop with the Zen teacher Lew Richmond on the Vimalakirti Sutra. At one point he was talking about applying Buddism to the way we drive our cars - to drive mindfully, compassionately, with regard for others, etc... He mentioned that he did not know what Dogen, the founder of his lineage would have thought of this, but ended with, "Dogen's not here. I am." I feel the same way. I revere Nichiren and Shakyamuni Buddha and I do indeed take my cues from them in terms of the practice I do and the things I watch out for. But in the end, I know that I am the one who is here, not them. I am the one who must discern what to do and take responsibility for acting in this moment. I am glad that other Nichiren Buddhists like yourself are realizing that the best way to emulate Nichiren is to really hear what he and the Buddha are saying - that we need to be present in our own moment and be true to ourselves.
Namu Myoho Renge Kyo,
Ryuei