THE REDNECK GOES BUDDHIST
From: National Review | Date: 3/4/1988 | Author: Mano, D. Keith
What, for Sure, I know about Buddhism is you wanter have clean socks t'do it in. I know that because I'm right now at a downtown han meeting--which is whenever enough middle-managment yuppie people get shoeless together and chant in Japanese. First off they rattle through Lotus Sutra--to the fetching tune of, far as I can tell, here a quack, there a quack, everywhere a quack-quack. Mind, in our believe-whatever nation, you better not show disrespect for color, race, or creed, especial when that creed is hotter than sun spots, the way Nichiren Shoshu of America (NSA) has been, just look what they did to Mr. Jimmy Greek--and he said nice things. So I am open-minded. More or less what we all are after chanting a quarter-hour--open-minded as in VACANT TRY ELSEWHERE.
NSA people appear decent, amiable types, tho somewhat spoony. They'd clap and hoo-roar at a paper-trained dog, if he was in need of encouragement. "Keith is visiting with us tonight." Yaw-whee, let's hear it for Keith. This Buddhist sect was first thought up by a preacher called Nichiren Daishonin before A.D. 1300. I don't understand it much--no one seems to--but the thingamabob that'll do the job is Nam Myo-Ho Renge Kyo. Over and over again. Nam means devotion. Myo-ho = mystic law. Renge is your basic lotus. And Kyo stands for the verbalization of Buddhist doctrine. Diagram this sentence however you want--after some while it sounds like Nomyno Foreign Dago--endless repetition is what will clear up that fuggy karma you got.
Repetition in front of the Gohonzon, mind now. First copywrit by Daishonin himself, a Gohonzon is this scroll picture (no one at my han meeting can translate it), that NSA people will come and enshrine on your bedroom wall for no installation fee. "Daishonin inscribed this Gohonzon to mankind, because he wanted to give us some way to relieve the suffering in our lives." It isn't a person, not a god, nor yet a moral map coordinate. No one even has to believe in the Gohonzon, though that might seem polite, considering. Nichiren Shoshu Buddhism is a practice, they say, not a belief. The swift practicer will foreign dago, morning and night, as long as he can stand it. And they challenge me to chant for sure-enough material things: cash, job, blonde bimbo, whatever. Though, to my Christian ear, that'd be pushy as asking for seconds of the Eucharist.
NSA people witness a whole lot. Fact, it is all like some kind of Oriental AA meeting. I was down and out, then I chanted my way from mailroom to executive assistant. One woman got her husband's salary up over $40,000 this year. In fairness: they do suggest you start by namming for a new stereo and move up to world peace, say. But NSA approaches the prospective convert with this great loss-leader promotion--reminded me of slate-night TV advertising. Yes, my friend, try it for one week and, if by that time you aren't promoted to first busboy, well, back to Methodism or whatever you came from and no hard feelings. But if you are promoted (and the chant routine might make you confident for once)--getting is believing. What d'you need to receive your own official Gohonzon--precisely like the wooden original in Japan? Just your $17 life membership fee and a trip to our temple in Queens. That is some long novitiate: three hours at most, if you hit heavy traffic.
But lemme shoot my wad somewhat on chanting in general. No doubt chanting will relax the mind and keep you maybe from a premature cerebrovascular incident. It is also something spiritual that you can actually do--add up and pack away Nam Myo-hos like a mud wasp. Which is easier and more countable than, oh, opening your soul to grace from the Risen Christ. But when they tell me all I need are chants and my Gohonzon, well, whoa. I don't purchase that. It shrinks my human nature down. If God just wanted some creature who could say Nam Myo-ho without thought, He would more conveniently have set up a mynah bird in Eden.
The temple, which I hauled out to, is eye-spronging: looks like a giant machine-gun emplacement in suburbia. Whatever you or I feel about NSA, it is major mojo now. There are forty thousand NSA Gohonzoners in New York, 500,000 around America, and twenty million worldwide. Check out their newspaper, World Tribune, and you'll see NSA gatherings--ten thousand here, twenty thousand there--such as Yankee Stadium doesn't get for a twi-night doubleheader. It is all so organized: near paramilitary. Band and chorus and drill dance and helmeted gymnasts who show "fighting spirit." I quote: "Wave upon wave of youth-division performances capped by the simultaneous accomplishment of five human pyramids, reaching as high as five stories, which brought the entire audience to its feet." NSA has got all of America broken down into one recruitment territory or another. What you have here is Toyota in a temple. No protectionist legislation can keep it out.
It's 11 P.M. in Flushing, Queens. This, they let me know, is the third or fourth convert service tonight. More than one hundred people-all Caucasian or black--wait with 15 new chanters before a spiffy and expensive black/gold altar. Nam Myo-ho Renge Kyo. Well, take it or leave it, there is a lesson to be learned. All over America faiths that have been unashamedly positive about material success are bringing home the juice. Folk have enough insecurity, thank you. Even when tax-deductible, the Christian offer, "Go and sell that thou hast and give it to the poor," doesn't enliven much. This world is full of yearning and fear. People just don't intend to wait for eferred benefits in paradise. And don't bother telling them they're unworthy: they know that. Far be it from me to question the New Testament, but I worry about my faith, and when last did your church hold a human pyramid
Posted by chogenki at April 25, 2008 05:21 PM