July 04, 2009
The "Go Home Zone"
When I first tried explaining some of the facets of my personal buddhist practice to a dear friend of mine, she heard the word "Gohonzon" in a different way. Her unique interpretation of the word "Gohonzon" became the "Go Home Zone". So now she asks if I am chanting to my "Go Home Zone".
I like the notion - where the focus of our practice becomes our "home", our groundedness and center. I have been reading Glenn Wallis' "The Teaching of the Buddha" and the first sutra he starts out with is the "Sakunagghi Sutta" where the Buddha is urging his disciples to stay "on their home ground". He utilizes a parable where a quail outwits a hawk by seeking safety in the quail's home territory.
Wallis then follows up with what this "home ground", this domain of safety for sentient beings is. This domain is staying solidly in the present.
This really came home to me recently. You see, my cat died; he was mauled and killed by two dogs who found their way inside a fenced in yard within a fenced in property. Now, sometimes, I like to think that I've mastered this or that facet of Buddhism... but this, this was so unexpected and painful for me. Buddhism is supposed to be a way out of suffering.
And, I was definitely feeling pain, and suffering.
Rather than pummeling myself, or applying palliative thoughts couched in cliches, I decided to try an experiment, drawn from the first part of the Mahasatipatthana Sutta (The Application of Present Moment Awareness) as translated by Wallis. Simply to be with my feelings, seeing them as such, letting them wash over and through me. I even decided to really put some of the Buddhist stuff to the test - the Tevijja Sutta suggests that "metaphysical frippery" (i.e. what happens when an animal dies? Do we go to heaven? etc.) is a nice diversion, but does not, ultimately, lead away from suffering.
So... did my little experiment work? Qualitatively, I think so, though of course I can't prove it (I love the line from an Adrienne Rich poem that says:"Quantify suffering, you could rule the world). While I still feel waves of sorrow, I find that if I don't seize hold of "How can I bear this? and chew on it (and that is what my tendency is due to my upbringing) then the pain is not so much... So, pain I feel, but I don't yoke myself to it.
Mike McCormick once likened living with disappointment and pain in life while you are practicing Buddhism as something kindred to an athlete who feels discomfort, even pain, and runs through it, because they have a worthwhile goal on the other side and know the discomfort is temporary.
Several weeks before Joey, my cat, died, I had already begun trying to experience life moment by moment, watching "feelings as feelings, thoughts as thoughts". As a consequence, I actually experienced alot more sympathetic joy (for instance, when Joey was enjoying a happy stretch and was purring) and less anger (such as when Joey would wake me up at 2 am for a snack). It helps.
Anyway, part of me wanted to fall back on the notion of "heaven out there", and reincarnation, but I guess I am more interested in the heaven right here. Joey is still alive, in the joy that I still have from my having known him, and that, for now, is enough.
Be loving, and kind.
Kris
How did you do this?
What does it means to "be with my feelings, seeing them as such, letting them wash over and through me?"
The inner dialog, that little voice in my head is really irritating sometimes. It takes great strength to push those thoughts out. I'd like to know more about what you did in your experiment.
Kris,
This is the hardest when death slams with a sucker punch into a helpless friend. You're right that we
have a choice. I think Sylvia Boorstein (in her book, "It's Easier Than You Think"), said it best.
She said that she'd like to add a third and 1/2
Noble Truth...that "suffering is manageable".
Managing suffering doesn't mean that we love less
or feel less. But it's an excellent alternative
on the way to Enlightenment.
I really love the way she takes the Buddha's teachings puts them in a context so we
can understand how they apply to our lives here
on the ground. You take care, Patty
Nancy,
You asked "How did you do this? What does it means to "be with my feelings, seeing them as such, letting them wash over and through me?"
You've got the gist, that those thoughts in your head need to settle down. I think what helps me (and this doesn't mean it will work for you) is rather than viewing them as monsters that have to be wrestled to the ground in a heroic manner, I view them as smoke on the wind - filmy insubstantial things that come and go.
It helps to practice chanting in a manner where you "greet" the hyper-brain thoughts and say, "Not right now" and try to get in a mental space where those thoughts don't set up residence.
I like the Nichiren Shu liturgy line "This place is a dojo, a place of Buddhist training" because that is how I view alot of my chanting with the gohonzon - it's a place where I practice settling those pesky voices.
Don't know if that made sense, but there you are.
Cheers,
Kris